Do you listen to yourself? I mean actually listen to the “words” you say? If you did, you’d know that sometimes what we say doesn’t make sense. While a certain phrase might have literally meant something at one time or another, over the years, that saying loses its context and takes on a meaning of its own. It becomes just another thing people say.
For example, the phrase, “land of milk and honey” is as old as the Bible itself and can be found in its very pages. The saying originally referred to Israel, but has grown to mean any agriculturally fertile land. That’s great and all, but what’s with this milk and honey business? These days, most of the adult members of the planet are lactose intolerant, so unless we are trying to raise the collective carbon monoxide levels on Earth, I don’t see why we want everyone chugging milk.
Even if we were going to drink all that milk, would we really want to take it with a honey chaser? I wouldn’t recommend it unless your plan is to gum up the works. Don’t get me wrong, honey is certainly delicious, but is that all you want to eat? Do you have compound eyes, small wings, black stripes, short fur and a barbed stinger? If so, then you might be a honeybee and you should not sting me. For the rest of us humans, a diet of only honey would create a planet of sugar-rush-induced chaos. Everything would be sticky and ruined!
You might even get trapped somewhere and die. If you did, some people might say that you bought the farm. The origins of that phrase are not entirely clear, but Snopes.com links it to the idea that a soldier’s death benefit would be enough to pay off the mortgage back home. That sounds real quaint and ‘50s, so I think I can go with that. The only problem with saying this now is that today’s farms ain’t like the ones your grand pappy remembers.
In fact, buying a farm may not be on your death benefits wish list anymore. On the one hand, farm-to-table is a big thing in the culinary world right now. If you bought a farm, you could literally dine farm-to-table every night. Take that, foodies! On the other hand, if you suck at growing plants and are lazy, then buying a farm would actually be pretty shitty. All that hard work and high water bills for dirt fields and a few ears of corn. Plus, it smells like shit, so there is that to consider as well.
So, like anything else, farming has its benefits and burdens, but even if one found him or herself inclined to be a farmer, the farm will still need to be bought. The days of family farms are pretty much over unless your last name is Tyson, Foster, Del Monte or Hormel. If it’s not, then there is a good chance that your death benefit isn’t going to be enough to buy one of them out, either. Face facts, the meat and veg game is on lock and you ain’t gettin’ in!
Fine…let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that you did manage to die your way into a Hormel-sized operation. Your family that is now stuck with your mega-farm legacy will probably be wondering why you were such an asshole and also how they are going to run this damn thing. Mistakes will surely be made, but fortunately for them, there is more than one way to skin a cat.
Now, I’ve never skinned a cat, so, I can’t vouch for that statement. I also think it’s an odd thing to say, as I don’t know any other people that have skinned cats either. It makes me wonder about what kind of psychopath is out there skinning enough cats to develop a variety of methods for doing so. What does he have against cats? I’m not sure if that’s the kind of person we want to be taking language cues from. I’d also keep them away from your pets.
When it comes to antiquated phrases like these, why not just say what we mean? This place is pretty. He died. You’ve got other options. See how easy that was? No one got sick, no one got stuck running a farm and the cats remain alive and well. You might say we are coming up roses, but if you did, I’d knock your block off. You see…my work is never done.
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