Opinion

You’re Playin’ Yourself

Slow your roll; you are about to do it again. The New Year is here and with it comes your bullshit resolutions that you’ll never be able to live up to. Why do we even bother? Some of you keep your resolutions to yourself so that others aren’t disappointed when…

2019: There were a lot of Marvel movies…

Ah, 2019, what a year! What a decade! 2019 was a weird, up and down year. Can I get an “Amen”? I had a lot of “new” this year. New job (what up, Placer County Library?), new dog, a few new places I’d never been to in the great state…

Christmas: An Origin Story

In the immortal words of the Peanuts, “Christmas time is here!” The holiday has officially disrupted our lives once again with its bright blinking lights and crowded shopping malls filled with crazed parents. Despite the problems it brings, I am still a sucker for Christmas and love seeing the traditions…

Hail to Queen E

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving/Tofurkeyday or what have you. I hope you shopped small on Saturday (if you shopped at all) and/or gave to your favorite charity on Giving Tuesday; perhaps you danced with your mother on Pretend It’s Your Wedding Wednesday (I made up the last…

The Leftovers

So you’ve survived another Thanksgiving with your crazy family. Hopefully, your level of traumatization was at a minimum on Turkey Day and none of your fam announced their allegiance to the Proud Boys or ISIS. No one wants to find out Based Stickman is their Uncle Kyle or that the…

Showing You the Transcripts

Recently, we’ve learned that President Trump likes to flex his orange-stained, American flag-covered muscles to get our allies to do his dark bidding. Amongst many other things, Trump demanded that Volodymyr Zelensky, the President of the Ukraine, investigate Joe Biden and his son’s involvement in a supposedly corrupt Ukrainian gas…

Fight! Fight! Fight! For Iowa!

I want to dedicate this column to the people of Iowa. I spent a night in Iowa once, 18 years ago, in Iowa City. I was traveling cross-country. I don’t remember much about it, honestly, but it made enough of an impression on me that I purchased an Iowa University…

Candy Is Dandy … Or Is It?

They say you catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. While this idiom used to be understood as a statement on kindness, it’s now morphed into a whole new meaning at the heavy hands of Big Sweets, the lobbying arm for the sugar industry. According to a…

Beto Bye Bye

Before you read the title of this column and think I’m being facetious, I should point out that I think Beto O’Rourke is a pretty cool dude. I contributed to his campaign for the U.S. Senate, more because I—like many people in America (including his colleagues from his own party)—think…

Reality Acid

I usually start out my writing process for this space by doing a quick perusal of Google News. Lately, “a quick perusal” has turned into a lightning-fast peek. As you may or may not have noticed, there’s been no shortage of headlines lately to get me riled up enough to…