Opinion

Triggered

The Sunday morning news show circuit used to be serious business. Gravelly voiced, hoity-toity-type folks would field tough, probing inquiries from shrewd journalist-types. You’d get facts and information and something to soothe the hangover you’d no doubt acquired through binge drinking the night before. I mean, why else would you…

GoT to Have More

It pains me to say it, but the television adaptation of Game of Thrones is officially over. Few things have remained constant in my adult life, but Game of Thrones feels like it’s always been there. I won’t easily forget the last eight seasons of brutal and tragic killings, dragon…

Will IPO for Food

I’ve never thought I had a head for business. Honestly, I’ve never really tried. I’m not sure if it’s poor self-confidence, or simply being confident in knowing that I’d probably muck it all up drastically. It’s funny how those edges are so easily blurred. I admire people who do start…

The (Not So) Glamorous Life

They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but what they don’t tell you is how your neighbor gets his lawn so goddamn green. I used to think it had something to do with the chemicals used, frequency of feeding, meticulousness of cutting and…

The Future Mrs. Chigger

You’ve heard about it in countless classics: “All you need is love,” “Somebody to love,” “Can’t help falling in love,” “When a man loves a woman.” There is a reason why we have so many songs about love. When everything around you seems to be falling apart or failing, love…

Spoiler Alert

Have you ever heard of a Luddite? Sure you have. In slang terms, it basically means a person is technophobic and rejects modern (see also: digital) improvements and standards. For example, I would say my grandma is an unwitting Luddite. She lives in rural Alabama, in a town so small…

I’ll Take Things That May Have to Be Removed for $1,000, Alex

So, like Thor dropping from the Heavens onto the battlefields of Wakanda, the Mueller Report (in redacted form) was released to the public. I spent much of Thursday and Friday morning listening to the usual punditry, but one commentator on CBS News (whose name escapes me, but her analysis was…

Game of Nos

It’s now or never. HBO premiered the first episode of the final season of Game of Thrones recently, and much of the world stopped doing whatever else it had going on to watch. Here is what we know: (SPOILER ALERT) Winter has officially come to Westeros and the army of…

They Keep Callin’ Me!

Children of the world today don’t know what they are missing. With the widespread adoption of Caller ID in the 1990s, an entire genre of hijinks was wiped out before millennials ever had a chance to experience it for themselves. Those of us born before then might still remember a…

The Law of the Jungle

I’d like to think that I learn from my mistakes. Last issue, right around this time, I began writing about the recently delivered Mueller report. In the midst of what I was typing, Attorney General William Barr showed up to work on a goddamn Sunday and threw everything I’d written…