Opinion

Strawberry Fields Forever

I write about outer space a lot. I blame Steven Spielberg and George Lucas for that. If I hadn’t gone to see E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial or Return of the Jedi in theaters as a child, and been told that the universe was just teeming with friendship, magic and races…

Dying the American Way

We have a real problem with guns in this country, and it will not be fixed with thoughts and prayers alone. Nearly 600 people were injured and 59 killed in Las Vegas Sunday, Oct. 1, making it the largest mass shooting in America yet. One old white man with a…

Dear Spiders: My name is Bocephus Chigger, but you and your various other eight-legged friends may know me as the guy in the white and green house by the park. I am writing regarding your continued and frequent trespasses on my property. There is no use in denying it. I…

Gridiron Grind

It’s been a crazy week for the NFL. In case you’re wondering, despite all the turmoil, my fantasy team is doing just fine. I’m currently undefeated, carrying the momentum over from last season when I became my league’s first two-time champion. You might be asking yourself why you should care…

Why Are You Still Here?

Sometimes, you have to stand up for what you believe. Sometimes, you have to speak up when everyone else is wrong, no matter the consequences. Today is one of those days, and this is one of those articles. Some bands and musicians have dumped their garbage on us for years…

The Lord of the Rings

As I write this, I’m watching news footage of Hurricane Irma, a category 4 storm, tear through Florida. Such a devastating weather event would be devastating enough on its own, but coming so close on the heels of another horrible storm, Harvey, which left Houston underwater, makes Irma all the…

Statues of Limitations

Is it still the 21st century or did a black hole swallow the Earth and transport us back 100 years into the past? Racists sure seem to think so. They came out in droves to Charlottesville, Virginia, to show us all how ignorant they can be. Even the President of…

Animal House

When President Trump pledged to get America back to work, he probably didn’t realize there would be so many openings within his own administration. If you don’t mind a high-risk, high-reward (for a week or so) position, maybe you should fax the White House your resume. If your skillset includes…

HBO GO(ne)

It happened again. HBO has been hacked and some emails, scripts and unreleased episodes have started leaking online. Last time this happened, Sony was the target of what is generally believed to be government-sponsored, North Korean hackers. The North Korean government supposedly hacked Sony for releasing a shitty movie with…

The World According to Mooch

I didn’t get to write about former White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci, because his 11-day reign as the Eye of the White House press shit-storm was so brief. I wanted to say that he was the only person appointed by President Trump that I actually liked; not because I…