Opinion

The Tangerine Dream?

Donald Trump is running for President of the United States and some people are actually excited about it. I’m not talking about late night talk show hosts either. They may have turned his candidacy into comedic gold, but even they know how disastrous a Trump presidency would be for us…

The Story of Us

I wasn’t born a cat person. Felines were misunderstood in my house. It was thought that their sole purpose in life was to tease and annoy our two miniature schnauzers whose barking, I’m now sure, was a far bigger problem than any cat ever could be. I was lead to…

Make the Voices Stop

Ugh. Alright. So … Do we have to do this? Do we really have to do this? I didn’t want to have to bring it up, but, like … OK, so this Trump thing with the pussy grabbing. Ugh. Like, I just threw up in my mouth a little. I…

Prez Play: That Old Bastard, George Washington

In just a few short weeks we will be selecting the 45th president of the United States. As scary as that may be, given the candidates on deck this year, it is important to remember that we have fumbled through this before and will probably get a chance to do…

Making Unemployment Work for You

It’s always been my dream to do nothing. I used to believe that if I could just figure out how to survive without working for a paycheck, my life would be perfect. I could do whatever I wanted, when I wanted or do nothing at all if that’s what suited…

Four-Eyes for the Future

I don’t know what Snapchat is, but I’m not so out of touch that I don’t realize it’s a thing. Or at least it was a thing. I just assume that by the time I realize something is a thing, there’s already another thing that I won’t learn about until…

Best Buds

There’s been a lot of talk the past year or so about our borders and building magical Christmas-land walls along them that will protect America from all harm and shower marshmallow rainbows on all of its citizens. Pretty much all of the border hullabaloo has been focused on our neighbor…

The World According to Lochte

The Olympics have finally come to a close. The torch is extinguished and the Olympic flag has gone to Japan for the Tokyo Games, but not everything has passed. For Olympic gold medal swimmer and American hero, Ryan Lochte, the Rio Games just keep lingering like the green water he…

There’s No “I” in Internet

You probably didn’t notice, but Submerge is no longer capitalizing internet. This is in accordance with this year’s AP Stylebook. In April 2016, AP Standards Editor Thomas Kent told Poynter.org that the change was made to “reflect a growing trend toward lowercasing both words [referring to “web,” which also used…

You’re Doing a Terrible Job

Most of us aren’t lucky enough to be born wealthy. The vast majority of us plebes have to work to survive, and that’s a real shame because working sucks. If given the choice, most people would choose to avoid a structured work environment, but the need for money usually wins…