Opinion

Four-Eyes for the Future

I don’t know what Snapchat is, but I’m not so out of touch that I don’t realize it’s a thing. Or at least it was a thing. I just assume that by the time I realize something is a thing, there’s already another thing that I won’t learn about until…

Best Buds

There’s been a lot of talk the past year or so about our borders and building magical Christmas-land walls along them that will protect America from all harm and shower marshmallow rainbows on all of its citizens. Pretty much all of the border hullabaloo has been focused on our neighbor…

The World According to Lochte

The Olympics have finally come to a close. The torch is extinguished and the Olympic flag has gone to Japan for the Tokyo Games, but not everything has passed. For Olympic gold medal swimmer and American hero, Ryan Lochte, the Rio Games just keep lingering like the green water he…

There’s No “I” in Internet

You probably didn’t notice, but Submerge is no longer capitalizing internet. This is in accordance with this year’s AP Stylebook. In April 2016, AP Standards Editor Thomas Kent told Poynter.org that the change was made to “reflect a growing trend toward lowercasing both words [referring to “web,” which also used…

You’re Doing a Terrible Job

Most of us aren’t lucky enough to be born wealthy. The vast majority of us plebes have to work to survive, and that’s a real shame because working sucks. If given the choice, most people would choose to avoid a structured work environment, but the need for money usually wins…

Release the Lions

Back in 2000, a group of friends and I got really hooked on season two of the TV show Survivor. I didn’t watch season one, or any season since, but for some reason (probably because we just needed an excuse to get together and drink beer) we met weekly to…

Send in the Clowns

I guess there’s no turning back now. The Republicans and Democrats finished up their National Conventions, and you could hear the nation take a deep breath in order to take a moment and prepare for the shit show that’s going to unfold itself over the next three months for the…

Got to Solve ‘Em All

There is a plague sweeping the nation and it appears that no one is immune, not even me. Fortunately, the Olympics have yet to conclude, so I’m not referring to the Zika virus; that’s coming next month. Today, I’m talking about Pokémon Go, and that shit has officially gone bananas….

Rio Hellympics 2016

We can thank the ancient Greeks for this mess; they created the Olympics. Now, every four years a city is chosen to host the greatest athletes in the world for a few weeks of summer sports. We call it the Summer Olympics and being selected by the International Olympic Committee…

Go Go Godzilla

You may be running low on hope. I wouldn’t blame you. I can’t even keep track of all the tragic acts of violence that have been taking place over the past month. These range from an attempted military coup in Turkey; to yet another act of terrorism in Nice, France;…