Opinion

The Big One

I mentioned in a column around election time that I’d been watching a lot of clips of George Carlin on YouTube. I loved his work so much and I still do because he’d incite in me an inner debate. Sometimes what he said made me laugh (most of the time),…

2017: Spoiler Alert!

2017 has only just begun and it’s already looking to be one helluva year. January is usually the time of year when a bunch of dumb jerks try to tell you what to expect for the coming year. Of course, these predictions are often grossly incorrect. And why wouldn’t they…

Congratulations, You’re Not Dead Yet

Alright, real talk for a second: 2016 sucked major ass in a lot of different ways. The last thing you need is yet another servile piece of shit like myself trying to break them down into an easily Facebook-shared list or rank them in order of how they affect me…

The United States

The old adage goes: There are two types of people in the world: People who enjoy pornography, and people who lie about it. For most of my life post-puberty, I have found this to be true. For a short time, I helped out a friend who owned an independent video…

15 Going on 17

People are more eager to say goodbye to 2016 than they have been any year in recent memory. Though to be honest, I don’t remember the last time anyone said something like, “Gosh, 2013 was awesome. I’m going to be sad to see it go.” Have we become that miserable?…

Protect Ya Neck

Each day, millions of people around the world wake up, get ready for work and nearly kill themselves in the process. Sadly, for most professionals, the difference between life and death depends only on forearm strength. Don’t pull hard enough and you come off looking like a slob; pull too…

All the Fake News That’s Not Really Fit to Print, But Will Be Anyway

Americans, I am angry. Russia is being accused of using propaganda to influence our election and maybe even more. It appears that the Russian government is simply making up news in the hopes of influencing popular opinion on a variety of topics including this year’s presidential race. The Russians purportedly…

Rock of Ages

Fidel Castro died. I guess that’s 2016’s final feather in its cap. There have been a lot of famous deaths this year. The ones that got the most attention were beloved musical luminaries such as David Bowie, Prince and more recently Leonard Cohen. None of them, however much we loved…

Trumpworld

Far be it from me to question the intelligence of Elon Musk. The man created Tesla Motors and SpaceX and was one of the founders of PayPal. He is also a big supporter of Hyperloop technology and will soon revolutionize America’s power grid with his home battery system. On top…

The Echo Chamber

I’m sure every generation believes that they are going to be the one that dooms the planet. Perhaps we think this out of arrogance—like we’re so powerful and important that, on a whim, we could destroy this beautiful blue marble upon which we float around the cosmos. And sure, it’s…