Opinion

This is Jeopardy!

Like most well- to highly educated people in the world, I like to think of myself as a smarty pants. I find that I often have to limit the flow of the font of information that will gush from my brain and out of my mouth so I don’t sound…

In a Perfect World

Wants… desires… we all have them. We wake up early most mornings, get dressed and venture out in the pursuit of these things… these ideas of perfection. The game of life does its best to throw up roadblocks on our road to eternal happiness. And every time, we think how…

Let me holla at cha!

What do I got to do? Your boy is about to be the big 3-0 and I’m still single. Oh I’ve tried… even came pretty close once, but it just ain’t happening for me. I probably won’t be in People’s “Sexiest Men” issue any time soon, but I’m not ugly….

Deal with the Devil

If you read this column at all, you know I’m into metal. So by proxy, that makes me a bit interested in Satan. It’s an interest, but not a full-blown obsession. I’m not going to start conducting séances, fucking with ouija boards or burning black candles on the Sabbath. That…

Resolutions

Who are we kidding here? You’ve said the same shit for the past five years and still nothing has changed. You are X but strive to be Y, and this year it’s gonna happen. Frankly, we are all tired of hearing about it. No one wants to see you go…

Do It Right Next Time

Another holiday season has passed. This is always a difficult time of year for me. It’s back to work, back to reality and 12 more months before it once again becomes socially acceptable to say fuck off to all responsibility and eat and booze as much as your heart desires….

Anatomy of a Hissy-Fit

Something awful must have set little man off that day at Apple Hill. It was truly a sight to behold”¦the 8-year-old boy/Tasmanian Devil was tall for his age and very lean. His lankiness undoubtedly helped as he seemingly fought for his life. The cause of this epic battle was unclear;…

Happy Holidays

Many years ago, when I was working at the comic book store, I tried to be as courteous to our customers as possible. Most of the time, I knew who would come in (and in most cases, when), but around the holidays, as you’d imagine, our clientele became more diverse….

Seasons Beatings

The holidays are here”¦ peace, love, joy, cheer and all that crap, right? It’s supposed to be a time when we set aside our differences and join together for one big group hug. But before I get down on some love-the-world-type shit, I like to vent a little. You see,…

The Bachelor Party Survival Guide

There is a certain dynamic that cannot be created except when in the presence of others. New ideas are shared and built upon to create new beliefs. Hopefully, when the group separates, everyone leaves with a little more than they came with. They usually form through shared beliefs or goals,…