Do you need Valentine’s Day?

Do you need Valentine’s Day?
By Vincent Girimonte

Feb. 14 used to mean a box of candies and Ghostbusters cards; then later on in life, when you bought that one singular rose for that utterly not-singular girl, a brutal hand job in the parking lot. This is Valentine’s Day at its roots–small tokens of affection for small requitals of romance.

Today, it’s sushi, bracelets, Kings tickets and expensive lotions that reek of mango, pomegranate and star fruit. And aside from demands on your wallet, a certain anxiety surfaces with each Valentine’s Day, amongst the mid-20s set especially: Couples are obliged to take inventory of their relationships–don’t blow it!–and the single crowd is mostly made to feel miserable.

This is not a what-the-fuck happened to Valentine’s Day piece, or yet another rant about why it sucks (because it does suck); rather, my intent is to question whether or not you need to participate. This handy chart above might help you work through these questions, and make clear your crippling loneliness. And remember, flowers are not cliché. Flowers are classy.