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Summer’s a great time for a lot of things, but it’s probably best for movies. The major studios pull out all the stops and release their biggest, most bloated and ridiculous movies to dazzle a slack-jawed, wide-eyed public. Summer blockbusters aren’t just movies, they’re events, and if you’re one of the few who misses the boat on one, you won’t be up on all the latest catchphrases, and you’ll have nothing to talk about with your friends. It’s sort of like social suicide. (I think I stole that line from Heathers.)

It’s not summer yet, but Paramount already took its first shot at its competitors with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This Wednesday night, going into Thursday morning, myself and a few alcohol-addled friends got to see a midnight premier of the movie in a packed, rowdy house (though truth be told, we may have been the rowdy ones). There were some radical previews such as Wall-E, the upcoming Pixar flick, and Hancock, the unfortunately titled Will Smith superhero movie; I got chills and applauded during the Dark Knight trailer”¦July 18 seems way too far away. I’ve seen all of these trailers before, but the atmosphere was pretty electric, and I was frantic with anticipation at the thought of reconnecting with one of my favorite celluloid heroes. Han Solo is cool and all, but I’ll take Harrison Ford as Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. any day of the week.

Crystal Skull takes place 20 or so years after the last film. A good choice considering Ford isn’t as young as he used to be. He’s old, yeah, but give it a rest. I got real sick of people talking trash about a movie they hadn’t seen yet simply because of the age of its leading man. At 65 years old, Ford’s not the brash, roguish silver screen hunk that your mom got all starry-eyed over back in the ’80s, but he could still probably steal your girlfriend—and he’d probably treat her a lot better than you do, asshole. However, since the movie takes place in 1957, it excludes one of the key elements that made the other films so successful (and whose absence also made Temple of Doom a bit of a disappointment): Nazis! Who doesn’t like seeing Nazis getting the shit kicked out of them by a wisecracking hero? Crystal Skull instead throws Russians into the mix, because back in the ’50s, they were communists (it’s true”¦look it up), and Americans weren’t too keen on it at the time. Since I’m a bed-wetting liberal, I can sort of sympathize with communists, and with Cate Blanchett cast as their sexy leader, I found it difficult to hate them too much. But whatever—there were car chases.

I hate it when people give out spoilers, so I’ll leave it at that. Overall, Crystal Skull is pretty dumb, but enjoyably so, especially if you’ve got a few drinks in you and you’re watching it in a full movie theater. I cheered, clapped, howled and laughed. The action’s pretty nonstop and so over the top that physics and common sense appear to be nonexistent. There are plenty of nods to the earlier films—even the Ark of the Covenant makes a cameo. I think the summer blockbuster season has gotten off on the right foot. If you haven’t seen Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull already, you’re probably the only one you know who hasn’t. Seriously—what the fuck is wrong with you?

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