Was the Exorcist not scary enough for you? Do you often find yourself screaming survival tips at the television while watching The Walking Dead? Do you thrive off of adrenaline in stressful situations (while simultaneously enjoying it)? If you answered yes to all of these, you are probably the type of person who laughs in the face of danger. Congratulations, that quality puts you at an advantage in the Great Horror Campout. What’s that, you may ask? It’s as if all of the bloodthirsty characters from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, House of 1000 Corpses and The Descent were isolated in one secluded setting and throwing a “party.” Now imagine yourself crashing that party with the intent of winning a scavenger hunt. It’s challenging, chilling and terrifyingly awesome. The 12-hour camping event begins at 8 p.m. at Vierra Farms (3010 Burrows Avenue, West Sacramento) and concludes at 8 a.m., during which time you will be confronted with a multitude of activities and a variety of scare-levels. The best part about the experience? You get to create your own adventure. The brave can opt for the black, orange, green or red zones. If you choose to camp in one of these areas, prepare to be kidnapped, caged, sacrificed, taunted and chased all night long as you complete your scavenger hunt; these areas are considered “fair game” to the camp’s creatures. The yellow zone, however, is for those choosing to opt out of the scavenger hunt, but includes just as many adventurous possibilities as the others. Some of which include watching horror movies, telling ghost stories, roasting marshmallows, arts-and-crafts and participating in campfire sing-a-longs. The event tickets range from $99 to $139, depending upon your tent size (which are provided) and can be bought online at Greathorrorcampout.com. Your ticket price includes parking, food, lodging and prizes, amongst other things. You have two dates to chose from, July 18 or 19, but get your tickets soon! Tip for the wise: bring extra underpants… you’ll probably get more scared than you think.

Wounded Lion

Witch Room, Sacramento • Saturday, June 7, 2014

Los Angeles-born band Wounded Lion is infamous for their energetic stage performances. The band has been dominating the L.A. garage-underground scene since their birth in 2005; their goofy, brilliantly minimalist garage-pop style was perfectly executed through their goofy, artistic dispositions. As the band matured, they began drifting more toward the punk side of the garage sound. This greatly appealed to lo-fi loving followers, as this transition naturally assimilated into their audacious performing style.

Wounded Lion is truly one of the best garage-performing bands to this day; they manifest an ability to turn any setting, no matter how obscure, into the perfect canvas for their music. Consider their June 7 performance at Witch Room (the reincarnation of the Bows and Arrows on 19th Street). Witch Room doesn’t aesthetically identify to any specific genre or musical style, yet, Wounded Lion transformed the venue into a garage-pop, lo-fi punk paradise.

The show began with a 4/4 drum stick count in as the guitars struck the initial heavy chord; shortly after, all hell broke lose…and I mean that in the most enjoyable, limitless, eclectic way possible. Wounded Lion, the apparent love child of Cake, Pixies and early Misfits, stood as the messiah leading their audience into a nirvana of psychedelic, garage rock. Wounded Lion harnesses a theme of crunchy distortion carried over repetitive, yet catchy, lyrics. The band’s style is distinct, almost too distinct; they hardly explored beats beyond a duple meter and opted to play in only three out of the 15 key signatures known to music. But hey, this band isn’t playing for the pleasure of music snobs. Instead, they’re playing for those looking to lose themselves and soft-core mosh against some strangers, and the Witch Room audience relished in it.

By the end of the second song, nearly 90 percent of the guests had migrated from the patio to the stage’s border to watch Wounded Lion transform the Witch Room environment. Brad Eberhard (vocals, guitar) would require a call-and-response from his band members, to which the audience joined in once the response pattern was clear. Raffi Kalenderian (vocals, percussion, bass) was perhaps the most captivating of the group; his electric mannerisms may have contributed at least 50 percent of the energy the band provided, which was quite impressive considering how dynamic each musician was.

Each member plays a variety of instruments; Lars Finberg (drums, guitar), Shant Kalenderian (guitar, bass, vocals) ad Jun Ohnuki (bass, drums, organ, percussion) would quickly swap their instruments between each song. Despite Wounded Lions’ obvious technical abilities, their tambourine skills were the most memorable of the performance. This is due to a variety of ways to which the tambourine was played; some members would slam it onto the ground, sometimes playfully onto other band members or even onto unused instruments to create different resonances. The band is remarkably innovative when it comes to instrumental manipulation; for instance, the audience absolutely lost its shit when the bass drum was brought to the front of the stage, tilted horizontally and beat with maracas.

Some may argue that the band’s disposition and musical character may have been a bit sloppy, but any long-time punk fan would report that their energy and personal sound nailed the essential essence of punk music. CesarIsAPuppy couldn’t have said it more perfectly on Last.fm, “This band. Last night in Sacramento. Bruises for days. So much fun.” Though the comment was made back in 2011, the meaning still survives. Wounded Lion’s music, just as most garage-punk groups are, is best appreciated when performed live. The band transformed Witch Room into a lo-fi utopia and delivered an incredibly unique experience to their audience. There was this synonymous feeling across the audience of somehow feeling like Hilly Kristal after essentially discovering the Talking Heads; Wounded Lion’s performance was so unique and addictive, it gave everyone a sense of discovery. We’ll see you next time, Wounded Lion. Long live punk.

Biker newbies, enthusiasts, socialites and experts alike, it’s time to celebrate that super-small carbon footprint of yours. In honor of Bike Month, Art Mix will be hosting Spoke-tacular at the Crocker Art Museum on Thursday, May 8, 2014, from 5 to 9 p.m. Park your bike at the free bike valet before immersing yourself into the sound of local bands and DJs complemented with Kevin Greenberg’s hand-built bike art and MonkeyLectric’s interactive digital wheel art. Sacramento Bicycle Kitchen will be there to assist with questions and provide suggestions for all the DIY bike builders and Juniper James will be presenting a bicycle fashion show for the boldly expressive and highly fashionable cyclists of Sacramento. The event is 21-and-over, and will be offering $5 drinks all night. Check out Crockerartmuseum.org for more details and ticket purchasing (free for members, $10 for nonmembers, $8 for college students).

Not too long from now, in the West Sacramento Galleria Hall (not too far away), is a great time for a celebration! On May 4, 2014, The West Sacramento Civic Center and Community Center will be hosting a Star Wars-themed event from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Come and enjoy the local vendors, comedy shows, costume parade, charity auction, Jedi wars and arts and crafts! Grab your light sabers and be sure to come in costume; if you do not, others may “find your lack in faith disturbing.” Tickets are $11 for adults and admission is free for children under 12. Fifty percent of the ticket proceeds will benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and can be found at Maythefourthws.brownpapertickets.com in addition to other links providing more information on the event.

Ladies, have you ever looked onto the Internet to browse new makeup and hairstyle trends only to find yourself totally overwhelmed? It happens to the best of us; we search for a few simple tricks to revamp our style and revive our skin, and before we know it we’re putting mayonnaise in our hair because some random site told us to! Legitimate beauty tips are hard to come across, and some even harder to pull off. Thankfully, Allure Salon and Spa is here to make it a little easier. On Thursday, Feb. 27, 2014 from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Allure will be holding a free Hair and Makeup Workshop at their salon at 815 16th Street! The Sacramento Fashion Week’s official salon, Allure will be dishing all fashion’s latest beauty trends and awesome tips for care and maintenance. Great tips, trend education and a guaranteed amazing time at a salon and spa for free? Ladies, this isn’t something you wanna pass up. Put the hair mayo mask away and check out Sacfashionweek.com/hair-makeup-workshop for more information.

With all the holiday commotion, sometimes it’s hard to consider the holiday experiences beyond our own, especially those of the less fortunate. Luckily, your favorite toy drive is here once again to remind you of the true meaning of Christmas. Come one, come all to Rock for Tots 8 on Dec. 20, 2013 at Assembly (1000 K St., Sacramento)! If you haven’t attended this awesome event in the past, be prepared to see a killer line-up of local rock bands complemented with stellar prizes donated from the finest of Sacramento’s establishments (LowBrau, Tank House, Royal Peacock Tattoo, Spanish Fly Hair Garage, among many others). All of the fun is successfully designed to donate toys to the Sacramento Salvation Army. Last year, Rock for Tots donated hundreds of toys. Over the eight years, they’ve donated over 3,000 total toys! Think of all the kids smiling because of this event. Tickets are only $10, and if you bring a toy, you’ll get a raffle ticket for the sponsors’ prizes. It’s the best way to get yourself onto Santa’s nice list. For more information visit Assemblymusichall.com

How many times have you said to yourself, “This year, I’m finally going to complete my holiday shopping early”? Despite the promised commitment, we always find ourselves at the mall days before our gifting deadlines, with thousands of other shoppers, dodging pedestrians in the parking lot, hustling through the stores and impatiently sighing in a seemingly endless line to the cash register. Let’s face it, there is a fine line between anxious, last-minute shoppers and a mob riot…and it’s best not to test its borders. Thankfully, Bows and Arrows will be hosting its handmade shopping event and bazaar, Makers Mart, on Dec. 8, 2013, where you can support local makers while enjoying the live DJ, awesome food and generous drink specials. This is your opportunity to select one-of-a-kind gifts for all your friends and loved ones. The event will take place in the alley next to the shop and most vendors accept cash only. You can get more info on the event and opportunities to vend at Makers-mart.blogspot.com. The event goes from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., so stop by and avoid all the unnecessary holiday hassle!

Calling all Roller Ball and Whip It fans and adrenaline-seeking enthusiasts alike. Sac City Rollers are presenting their annual two-day roller derby event, Red Red Holiday 8! On Dec. 7 (10 a.m. to 7 p.m.) and Dec. 8 (10 a.m. to 5 p.m.) come and enjoy the women’s two-day round robin tournament, along with men’s and junior’s mixed one-hour scrimmages at the Nor Cal Indoor Sports Center in Woodland. More than 25 leagues from all around California will be represented in this awesome holiday event that’s sure to put smiles onto the sternest Debbie Downers. Tickets are available at the Arden, Downtown and Sunrise Dimple Records locations, or online at Brownpapertickets.com

Built in 1841, Sutter’s Fort welcomed hundreds of pioneers emigrating from the East Coast, including the survivors of the Donner Party. Though the travelers moved on, their stories stayed behind and now they are yours to witness. On the evenings of Oct. 25 and 26, starting at 6:30 pm, Sutter’s Fort will open its gates to reveal its mysterious history. Every 10 minuets, lantern-lit tours explore the 150-year-old rooms, disclosing tales of loss and struggle. $8 adult tickets and $6 children tickets can be purchased at Suttersfort.org/events-and-exhibits. Imagine the courage and perseverance required of those willing to abandon their homes to explore the West. Pay tribute to their endeavors and watch their stories materialize.

Halloween can be surprisingly overwhelming. With so many things to do, where exactly do you fit in? We have a solution to your existential celebration struggles. Courtesy of Fun Monkey Entertainment, the 10th Annual Halloween Hootennanny Festival has returned to Old Ironsides with an even more impressive lineup than the last. The schedule includes The Rocketz, Nickel Slots, Rebel Punk, DJ Cakes, Aloha From Hell, The Pendletons, The Vintage Vandals, DJ Vinyl Avenger, Cash Prophets (Johnny Cash Tribute Band), The White Barons, The Hormones (female Ramones Tribute Band) and DJ Rockin’ Riga Tony. What better way to venture out of your musical realms than on the day celebrating distorted social chaos? Musical styles range from psychobilly to rockabilly, classic punk to Americana, and spooky DJs to idiosyncratic tribute bands. All nights include access to Papa Dale’s Drivin’ Diner truck and Black Orchid Accessories. Thursday night features a Bloody Wet T-shirt contest presented by Trash Film Orgy, a Zombie Pinup Contest on Friday, and Luscious Ladies’ Dead Disney Costume Contest on Saturday. Cover fees and other information can be found on the 10th Annual Halloween Hootenanny Festival Facebook event page, but the experience is one to be seen for yourself!