Opinion

Wash Hands After Reading

Humor is a great medicine for fear. I understand that better than anyone. My mother often marvels—which is to say, recoils—at my ability to find humor in just about any situation. I admit that this is my chief defense mechanism for situations that I can’t curl in a ball and…

Getting to Know Your Presidents

We like to think we know everything, but it’s not true. That’s certainly the case when it comes to presidents of the United States. There have been 45 presidents so far, but can you honestly say you know much about any one of them? I’m even willing to wager that…

Just Doing It

There are more than 7 billion people on Earth. That’s a lot. I mean, seriously. It’s so fucking many. And, as a population, and this goes down to every one of us, we’re not doing a great job of holding our shit together. Look at the people we’ve elected as…

Bocephus’ Run

My dear readers … I have not been completely honest with you. I’ve presented myself as a member of your community, one of your tribe. But it’s all been a lie. I didn’t originally come here to entertain you every other week with witticisms that can sometimes seem out of…

New Year, New Doom and Gloom

It turns out that this was a crazy couple of weeks to binge-watch Messiah on Netflix. If you haven’t seen the show, it takes the world we now live in and interjects a messianic figure rising from the Middle East (who isn’t the lily-white dude you see in popular Christian…

It’s (Not Quite) the End of the World as We Know It

Hopefully you are still alive and able to read this. Our fearless leader, Donald Trump, recently decided that the world still wasn’t crazy enough, so he sent a drone to kill a popular Iranian general, Qassem Soleimani, while the general was in Iraq. The president accused Soleimani of plotting attacks…

Mitt, You’re Up

I’m not sure if I’m correct, but I think this is the first time an issue of Submerge has actually hit stands on New Year’s Day. I’m not sure why that feels significant to me, but it does. Maybe it’s because I’m more anxious than ever to get this year…

You’re Playin’ Yourself

Slow your roll; you are about to do it again. The New Year is here and with it comes your bullshit resolutions that you’ll never be able to live up to. Why do we even bother? Some of you keep your resolutions to yourself so that others aren’t disappointed when…

2019: There were a lot of Marvel movies…

Ah, 2019, what a year! What a decade! 2019 was a weird, up and down year. Can I get an “Amen”? I had a lot of “new” this year. New job (what up, Placer County Library?), new dog, a few new places I’d never been to in the great state…

Christmas: An Origin Story

In the immortal words of the Peanuts, “Christmas time is here!” The holiday has officially disrupted our lives once again with its bright blinking lights and crowded shopping malls filled with crazed parents. Despite the problems it brings, I am still a sucker for Christmas and love seeing the traditions…