The Sacramento Comedy Foundation, a local nonprofit organization, will be hosting the fifth annual Sacramento Comedy Festival and they’ve now expanded to a whopping nine different venues. The party kicks off on Oct. 2, 2015, and lasts until Oct. 10 and takes place at regular hot spots like Punch Line Comedy Club, Laughs Unlimited Comedy Club and the Sacramento Comedy Spot. But also the festival includes some non-traditional venues such as the Starlite Lounge, Ooley Theater, Luna’s Café and more. Expect some spirited sets by Myq Kaplan of Last Comic Standing, Mo Mandel from truTV’s Barmageddon, and Rick Overton (actor/writer Emmy Award-winning comedian). There will also be a special Lavender Lights—Gay and Proud show on Wednesday, Oct. 7 at Punch Line Sacramento featuring the hilarious Ronn Vigh (Last Comic Standing). Those who love improv will be delighted that Bay Area group 5 Play will perform two shows in two venues over the first weekend as well. If that weren’t enough, there’s even a Stand-Up Comedy Competition, which will have 60 comedians competing for a generous $2000 purse. Come for one show or buy a festival pass. You won’t be disappointed either way. Check out Saccomedyfest.ticketfly.com to get the lowdown.

Sacramento funny man Keith Lowell Jensen is back at it again with his new album Atheist Christmas, which was released Nov. 25, 2014 on Stand Up! Records (his second release for the label and fourth overall). Atheist Christmas is a CD/DVD combo pack; the video portion was recorded right here at Sacramento Comedy Spot early last December, and the audio portion was recorded just a couple days after at Punch Line in San Francisco. Submerge was lucky enough to get an early sneak peek at the video special and we can vouch that it is absolutely hilarious! There are cute little Christmas decorations behind him on stage and multiple camera angles. KLJ’s material ranges from relatable jokes about his daughter acting like a tiger, to weird/traumatic childhood experiences at church camps, to much more outlandish and slightly embarrassing jokes about his doctor sticking fingers up his ass, masturbation and how his life peaked in elementary school (it’s a funny story involving bird shit). You know, everyday normal conversation-type stuff for a comedian. “I do know that I’ve been talking about a lot of depressing stuff,” Jensen says at one point. “But I did warn you that this was going to be a Christmas special!” Jensen is having a Sacramento release show for Atheist Christmas on Thursday, Dec. 4, 2014, at Punch Line Comedy Club on Arden Way. Joining him on stage will be some of his best comedy pals Johnny Taylor, Matt Lieb, Michael Patten and Robert Berry. Show starts at 8 p.m., is 18-and-over, $15 cover charge, and there’s a two-drink minimum. For more information on Keith Lowell Jensen and to buy Atheist Christmas, visit Kljshop.com or Rockass.net.

Comedian Doug Stanhope never abided by the rules, and we wouldn’t have it any other way

In one word, Doug Stanhope is polarizing. If you are a fan of his work, you probably think he is a comedic genius, unparalleled by any other active in his craft. Should you fall on the other side of the spectrum you probably think he is a vile, drunken psychotic who should be jailed for abuse of the First Amendment. It’s not a conscious effort on his part to be a polarizing comedian, though, and while ultimately he is an entertainer, he is not an actor playing a role. His ingenuity, love it or hate it, is in his sincerity. He flaunts his flaws and mocks his shortcomings, and though his views of the world may come off as bleak, they are not shortsighted shock value statements. His approach is unfiltered tact; nothing is off limits, and if you are offended, you probably shouldn’t have been listening in the first place.

With more than two decades of stand-up experience, 11 live albums and a resume that spans the BBC and The Man Show, Stanhope is no slouch. He exists within his own lane, and with a DIY approach to his profession has established himself as an undisputed comedic heavyweight. On the stage is where he thrives, and from Feb. 23 through 25, he will be headlining the Punch Line, testing out new material before he heads overseas for a tour of the United Kingdom. In anticipation of the gig, the following conversation conveniently took place immediately following the State of the Union address.

So when you watch something like the State of the Union address are you solely as a comedian, or is there a part of you that is watching as a citizen?
Completely as a comic, especially on Twitter. It was funny to watch my brain work actually. This live tweeting thing was new to me, though. It was like open heckling. To keep up with what he’s saying, and type as clumsily as I type, and then to read what others are saying so I don’t copy them, I just felt like, “Oh shit, I’m taking too long.” It was like playing bingo with too many cards, and I hate that I know what that reference means.

Do you think you could do your stage show with a John Boehner type of figure behind you?
There is always a John Boehner type behind me, and it’s the negative version of me judging all of my jokes saying, “You’ve said that before! Everyone is bored with you!” And there is a Joe Biden on the other side, the angel on my shoulder saying, “Just take the check.”

Do you ever hit dry spells or do you find that the political climate and endless stream of social bullshit provides you with enough material to never run out?
Oh yeah, I’ve been in a dry spell for years. The things that I’m passionate about start drying out, that’s simple mathematics. The longer I do comedy I start running out of ways to talk about things. Like over-population, I don’t know how to find a new angle on that, but it’s something that really bothers me. I’ve found ways in other stuff, but I can’t keep saying the same shit again and again. Over 20 years, I don’t want to fake being angry about things I’m not passionate about, #BillMaher.

One of my favorite lines of the speech was, “America is back and anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know what they are talking about.” Would you like to elaborate on that?
Yeah, I mean, it’s the exact same America I’ve always lived in. I’m 45 now, and it’s all the same shit every year. Every year we need to change something or stop something, and then I realize that none of this will affect my life. Nothing that any president has done or talked about doing has affected my daily life. Taxes, yeah maybe I have $20 more, or $20 less in my bank account at the end of the year, but it doesn’t affect me day to day. I’m sure it does some people, but they play by the rules, which I never did. I don’t mean like, “Oh, I play outside the lines, the rebel,” I just live a weird life.

Have you always been like that?
Yeah, I quit school when I was 16, but I had to live at home until I was 18 by law. As soon as I turned 18 I jumped on a train with $400 and went to Los Angeles to be an actor. That lasted four months, moved to Florida for four months. I did fraud telemarketing and just fucked off until I started comedy when I was 23.

What inspired you to blaze your own path like that?
I have no idea. I was always a weird kid. I was very similar to what I am now, which doesn’t really fit for a kid. I had a really dark sense of humor. I still have a framed letter from my school psychologist on my wall, hold on a second, let me read it. The second paragraph reads, “I very strongly believe that Douglas is in need of professional help. As you know he is extremely negative about getting help.” I was just being funny, drawing fucked up doodles. You know how you would trace your hand? Well I would trace my hand, but move three of the fingers over to the side like they just got chopped off and then make pools of blood around them. I thought it was cool. They thought I was a psychotic.

I love that you had the foresight to hold onto that letter.
Yeah, definitely. When I first got into comedy I had no press pack so I would put this letter in there and highlight the sentence I just read.

So were you the funny guy then?
No, people thought I was creepy. A couple people thought I was funny but most were creeped out by me. So I guess with that, I have the same ratio of fan base I have now. I had a cult following in school, but I was generally observed as way too dark for the room.

You have very strong beliefs and opinions. Do you want people to share all of your beliefs?
Yes, I do. Or I want to share theirs. I just see things a certain way, and I wish that was normal. I don’t like feeling different all the time. I’m not the goth kid who is dyeing my hair and putting on temporary tattoos to stand out. I want to be normal. I want to be able to put on my iPod at a party and have more than three songs play before someone goes, “What the fuck is this!?” I want to fit in and have more friends.

I feel like when people describe your work they only highlight the debaucherous side, but no one ever mentions that you are really smart, which I think is a huge discredit to what you do.
Unless you disagree with me, then I’m just a drunken idiot. That’s one thing that really bothers me, because I do think people who disagree with me will always blame it on alcohol as if I would have completely different opinions if I didn’t have a cocktail at 7:30 p.m. Christopher Hitchens was the only guy I know smart enough to overcome the [drunken idiot image]. He was one of the guys I wanted to get drunk with before I died. Him and Bill Murray. Hunter S. Thompson was fantastic, but you would never want to be him to be that brilliant, and I think the same goes for Charles Bukowski. They aren’t people you want to emulate, because you know their lives were miserable. I would rather put out shitty art and have a nice life.

Your comedy is pretty boundless. Generally speaking, do you give a fuck?
Well, I’ve become angrier which is the antithesis to not giving a fuck, but it’s usually pointless rage. Patrick Cox of Taxmasters, every time I see that commercial with his fat bullfrog throat, I get angry. I call them and accuse him of looking weird at my kid through the TV all the time. I get angry at really stupid things, and I know they are stupid, but it’s actual rage. I get more scared of people and things too. Generally, I give a fuck in a desperate and helpless way. I want things to be different, and there is no way to do it, and that makes me angry. I’ve given up hope. I don’t know if I don’t give a fuck, but I’ve given up hope.

Doug Stanhope will play five shows in three days at Punch Line Comedy Club in Sacramento beginning Thursday, Feb. 23, 2012. Shows will start at 8 p.m. (all three days) with 10 p.m. shows on Friday, Feb. 24 and Saturday, Feb. 25. Tickets range from $18.50—$23.50. You can purchase them through Punchlinesac.com or Livenation.com.

One of stand-up comedy’s best, Dave Attell, will bring his caustic wit and rapid-fire delivery of “very adult” material to Sacramento for three shows at Punch Line Comedy Club on Thursday, Dec. 29, 2011 (show time is 8 p.m.) and Friday, Dec. 30, 2011 (show times are 8 p.m. and 10 p.m.). Attell got into stand-up in the late ‘80s when he frequented the open mic scene in New York City. Since then he’s been named one of the “25 Funniest People in America” by Entertainment Weekly, had his own popular show Insomniac with Dave Attell on Comedy Central, has appeared in hit television shows like Arrested Development and has countless appearances on the late-night show circuit. What better way to get your pre-New Year’s Eve party on than to laugh your ass off with some friends over drinks? More information and tickets available by calling Punch Line at (916) 925-5500, or visit Livenation.com.

Dave Chappelle, Ngaio Bealum

Punch Line Comedy Club
Tuesday, April 26, 2011 (8 p.m. show)

When we first saw Punch Line Comedy Club’s Facebook and Twitter posts on Monday, April 25, saying that Dave Chappelle was coming to town the next night, we nearly flipped out. What comedy fan wouldn’t? After purchasing a couple pricey tickets (about $67 after online fees) the paranoia settled in. “Is this for real?” we thought. “Will Dave freaking Chappelle really show up tomorrow night?” Questions like, “Why was it such a last minute announcement?” and “Will I get a refund if he flakes?” haunted us.

The next night we arrived over an hour early for the 8 p.m. show with four people in our group. After waiting in a rather short line, we were seated. There was loud hip-hop playing via DJ Fuze sitting side-stage, who apparently spins for Chappelle when he is doing gigs in and around the Bay Area. Classic selections from Wu-Tang Clan, De La Soul, Jay-Z and more ignited a little life into an anxious crowd and got everyone chatting louder amongst their tables. Not long after the room was full and the lights dimmed, a voice came over the PA and announced the opening act, Sacramento comedy club regular Ngaio Bealum.

Bealum immediately took command of the crowd with his highly pot-influenced brand of comedy. “I have weed in my pocket, ‘allegedly,’ that’ll make hippies go, ‘Fuuuuuuuck, I’m high!’” Bealum joked. He’s been around the block when it comes to marijuana activism too. He doesn’t just joke around about it. He pointed out that he attends every marijuana-related convention, rally, concert, exposition, etc. that he possibly can in order to fight for his rights. Soon after, he did a bit about how you’ll never see festivals or concerts thrown in celebration of any drug other than marijuana. His example: “Meth Fest!” Bealum dropped the microphone and yelled to the crowd at the top of his lungs, “Welcome to Meth Fest!” He paused, dramatically grinded his teeth, then yelled, “Who stole the fucking sound system?” It got the crowd rolling. Save for when he awkwardly performed oral sex on the microphone for a solid minute or two (which is a long time to sit through, sound effects and all), Bealum’s set was extremely well received and proved to be a great stage-setter for the man of the night, Dave Chappelle.

Chappelle, sporting a hoodie, gray T-shirt and jeans, casually walked onstage moments later to thunderous applause. It’s safe to say the crowd was star struck. Chappelle sat on a stool, lit up the first of many cigarettes and briefly reminisced about when he used to gig at Punch Line over a decade ago. The stool seemed to be a crucial part of his set, as he spent a fair share of an hour-and-a-half sitting on it, delivering material slowly but steadily, smacking the microphone on his knee after delivering punch lines, creating a “thud” sound. It was like a “laugh-your-ass-off-now” indicator. Many of Chappelle’s funnier bits were crowd-involved as Chappelle kept asking questions like, “What is there to do in Sacramento?” to which everyone unanimously decided, “Nothing.” He then asked, “What are we doing tonight?” Everyone, including Chapelle, seemed to be OK with either A) pancakes across the street at IHOP or B) going to the state capitol to “protest some shit,” in Chappelle’s words.

Another question Chappelle asked the crowd that seemed to become a main theme of his set was, “What’s the saddest movie you’ve ever seen?” Apparently Chappelle loves sad movies. “I like movies that make me feel something,” he kept saying. Movies like Hotel Rwanda, Precious, Million Dollar Baby and other depressing titles were somehow made hilarious by Chappelle and his commentary.

At one point, Chappelle let the crowd in on one of his trade secrets, admitting that he frequently writes the punch lines to his jokes first, then the set-up. His latest punch line? “Turns out, I was smelling my own balls.” He tried it a number of ways, setting it up from a different angle each time and nailed each one. “I laugh every time,” Chappelle said of the work in progress. That’s another thing: Chappelle frequently laughs at his own jokes, which in turn makes the crowd laugh because he has a rather silly giggle. Other themes and bits, both prepared and situational depending on the crowd’s (and staff’s) involvement, were his interracial marriage with a Chinese woman; the cocktail waitress Roxy, and whether or not she lived alone in her Yuba City apartment; bumming cigarettes off of crowd members just because he was sick of his own and then giving them back after someone yelled, “You might want to check that!” and plenty of other gut-busting topics.

Toward the end of his time, Chappelle muttered something like, “I gotta get out of here after I finish this cigarette,” and then proceeded to poke around a bit with an engaged couple in the front row. At this point the crowd was worn out, cheek muscles ever-so-sore from well over an hour’s worth of hilarity, but we were willing to take more. Chappelle reached into his pocket, pulled out his pack of American Spirits and lit up another one. Even though there was another show starting in a few minutes, it didn’t look like he wanted to get off the stage; he wanted to sit right there, smoke his cigarettes and engage with the crowd. Throughout the night he has asked, “What do you want to talk about?” and it was clear the answer from the crowd was, “Anything, Dave, anything.”