Opinion

Just Be Scared of Everything. It’s Easier That Way.

I don’t have cable television, but I’m kind of grateful for it. All the pictures I’ve seen on the Internet of Twisty the Clown from the recently debuted American Horror Story: Freak Show are just too—well—freaky. It’s bad enough he’s a creepy clown, but the dude’s got no freakin’ lips….

Witch, Don’t Kill My Vibe

By Julie De La Torre It’s that time of year again, people. The leaves are starting to change their colors, the temperature is slowly falling and the army of basic bitches have traded in their flip-flops for Ugg boots as they prepare to orchestrate their pumpkin-flavored assault on the rest…

Couples Therapy

Living alone can be great. No one eats your food or leaves a mess for you to clean up. The bathroom is always available when you need it and you don’t even have to close the door if you are so inclined. As the king or queen of your castle,…

Forced to Punt

It’s difficult for me to say this, but I’ve given it a lot of thought: It might be time to end our love affair with football. I write this, of course, as I’m watching a football game and continuously checking multiple browser tabs to keep up with how my fantasy…

Zeroclient Releases Debut Full-Length Album Omnia Oct. 10, 2014 at Assembly

Local prog-rock/alt-metal group Zeroclient are celebrating the release of their debut full-length album Omnia with a huge show at Assembly on Friday, Oct. 10, 2014. With just a four-track demo under their belts, Zeroclient (made up of Brian Vees on vocals/rhythm guitar, Arnold Peña on lead guitar, James Wolf on…

All the Right Junk

I can’t lie. I like butts. But really, who doesn’t like butts…or booties, or whatever you like calling them. I’m pretty sure if you could quit your job and just stare at butts all day, and still be able to pay rent and stuff, you probably would. I guess it’s…