Opinion

Ask Dr. Chigger

Dr. Mehmet Oz has some serious bona fides. He went to Harvard for undergrad, University of Pennsylvania for medical school and is a professor of surgery at Columbia Medical School. He has been blessed with a TV show and an advice column, as well. More importantly, Dr. Oz is also…

There’s a Fire in My Pants … and You’re Invited

According to fact-checking website Politifact.com, Fox News is only truthful in its reporting 11 percent of the time. This is probably not news to you. MSNBC clocks in at just 11 percent “truthful” as well. However according to the website, MSNBC’s “mostly true” numbers (24 percent) dwarf Fox’s (12 percent)….

Meanwhile, Down Under

Racism. As it turns out, it’s not just an American thing. Jokes. I swear, I love America. I think you should love the country you live in, even if you don’t agree with everything that goes on in it. It’s true, I may like living in another country more if…

Turn the Other Cheek

It’s never been a better time to be a Christian in America. Seriously, hear me out. First of all, it’s never been a bad time to be a Christian in America. Your “God” has his name printed right there on the dollar bill, after all. Also there hasn’t been a…

Orange Crush

America is collapsing in on itself and only a floppy-haired, shit-spewing, orange-faced, dim-witted asshole can save us … or so Donald Trump would have you believe. It’s for real this time: Donald Trump is running for president as a Republican. Trump’s current quest for the highest office in the land…

Super Supreme Team

What do you think they wear under those robes? It must be nice knowing that you will get to wear a long black robe at work that day. I would dress real casual, maybe a T-shirt and shorts depending on the weather, but that’s me. Maybe you’d go a little…

Your Future in the Movie Business

Have you ever wanted to own a movie theater? You could play whatever movies you wanted, whenever you wanted and collect whatever fees you wanted from your customers. All you’d have to do is watch movies while the money rolls in. Do you think you can handle that? Well too…

The Amazing Race

There are plenty of things in life we should be racing toward. Progress, wiping out poverty, curing cancer, the salad bar at Sizzler: these are all things we really need to get a giddyup on. Mass extinction is probably not one of those things. According to a study from Stanford,…

Genie(us)

What if genies were real? Would you be prepared to make great wishes if confronted with a magic lamp? Remember your film and childhood story history; genies are seasoned tricksters who will twist your wishes in ways that you couldn’t imagine or intend. The finder of the lamp always seems…

You Can’t Polish a Turd … Well, You Could, but …

I rummage through a lot of headlines as part of the usual process of writing this column. Whether or not it comes through in the finished product, it’s actually a lot of work. Over the past 188 issues prior to this one, I’ve come across a lot of troubling headlines:…