Final Summation at Home on The Road and Ready to Turn 10

America is a great big country, and over the past 10 years, Sacramento punk rockers Final Summation have seen just about all of it. When Submerge caught up with the band, they were traveling the frozen northern United States on a tour spanning 16 days and taking them as far east as Chicago.

In the following interview, Wolfe regaled us with tales from the snowy roads of the northern plains—not that a little inclement weather could deter them from getting to a gig. We learned that when it comes to playing shows, Final Summation is the punk rock equivalent of the Post Office, just far more bad ass.

On the road, I’m sure you pass a lot of truck stops and roadside diners. Do you have a particular favorite?
I think there are a couple that we just so happen to stop at every time. There’s not so many that stick out anymore, because, sadly, when we first started touring five years ago, the truck stops were awesome. They were independently owned and very unique. They carried whatever they wanted and did whatever they wanted. Now, because there are so many buyouts from corporations, the personalities of the truck stops are depleting. Now I just get excited when I walk into a place and I don’t recognize it, because there are so many Flying Js and Conocos and whatever all over the country.

Yesterday we stopped at one on our way to Fargo, on our way through western North Dakota. And I’m not kidding, I thought I was in the fucking ’50s. It was snowing outside, miserable weather, and this guy came up to us in one of those big Northern Exposure hats, and he’s like 80 years old and said, “Y’all want some gas?” We walked up to the storefront, and it’s all wood, like something out of the Old West, outlaw days, and inside there’s barely anything on the shelves, there’s a couple of updated refrigerator systems, and I look to my left and there’s an old guy just sitting there reading the paper, who’s probably not even a customer, he just goes there to hang out. It was straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting or something. I was juiced! I told Pat, our drummer, “This is so awesome!” and he was like, “Why is this awesome?” and I said, “Because it’s something we haven’t seen!”

It’s sad that the country is turning into the proverbial giant strip mall.
And even the bigger bummer is the ones where they keep the original storefront, and you walk in and the inside is just cookie-cutter. It’s such a tease.

There are some that are owned by Native Americans, and they have a Native American vibe and feel. It seems like they haven’t completely had to sell yet. I don’t remember where they are, but if I see anything even remotely unique looking, I’ll stop. I’ll drive past the normal-looking gas station hoping to find the really weird looking one later—the one pump and the guy out front, drunk off his ass. I’m looking for that one [laughs].

The one with the guy smoking while he’s pumping your gas?
[Laughs] Exactly. The one with the guy telling us to go that way, not that way.

The last album you guys released came out in 2008. Now that you’ve been playing the songs for almost two years, has that changed your appreciation of the album?
Not really. Honestly, the record we did before this, To Progress or to Fade in 2005, we played those songs for a really long time, but the reason why was that it was three years of writing. The one thing that keeps happening to us is we’ll get really good momentum, but then we’ll lose a member, whether it’s our guitar player John [Powell], who killed himself, or Brian who we had to kick out, or Kiel [Gesicki] who left. Now we have Pat. We got really bored of those songs, because we played them for so long. This album, it’s only two years old, but the fact that people come and say, “This song got me through this,” or “This song saved my life”¦”

Because so many people appreciated this album, it doesn’t allow itself to get stale. The reason for us to take so long to write records is because Bear, who writes most of the music, is overly anal about everything”¦ I do the lyrics, and I’m the same way. It takes us so long, because we want to be able to look back on the record 20 years from now and still be stoked on it and not regret it or roll our eyes when we have to play a song from it. To us, this album might be two years old, but it’s still as relevant as the day it came out.

You said that you write most of the lyrics and Bear writes most of the songs. Do you usually hear the music first before you start writing or do you both write independently?
It’s a little bit of both. We’re on two different creative schedules. There are times when Bear will come to me with a CD of six songs he has created, all of which are amazing, and I’m like, “Fuck, I better get working.”

Punk is in my blood, but my parents raised me on the oldies. I listen to Sam Cooke, Chuck Berry—the roots of rock ‘n’ roll. My dad raised me on soul records, so I love Etta James, Timi Yuro”¦but on the last tour, I really got into hip-hop and songwriting. I’ve always been into it, but I dove headfirst into Public Enemy, KRS-One, Talib Kweli, because as a songwriter, I got stoked on the rhymes they would come up with. I’d be like, “Shit, I didn’t even know those two words rhymed!” or just the fact that they would put their syllables on a different beat than the snare.

So, sometimes, I’ll have 10 songs and I’ll say, “Hurry up!” Or, Bear will have 10 songs and say, “Hurry up!”

When you come off the tour, you’ll have a couple of 7-inch release shows in Sacramento and Stockton. Could you talk about the songs on there?
“Arizona Drive” we’ve been tossing around for a while. Bear wrote that in 2006 while we were writing A New Approach, which is why it has that same feel, and we were actually going to put it on the next record, but so many people loved that song, but Bear was like, “No, I’m going to put it on the next record.” And I was like, “Dude, we’re taking too fucking long for the next record”¦” We were going to play it at a show one night and I said, “Here’s a song a lot of you like, but you’re going to have to wait for two years, because Bear won’t go into the studio and record it.” Afterward, Bear was like, “Fine, we’ll go into the studio.”

That’s a song that Bear wrote the lyrics to and sings. It’s about a tour we went on in 2005 and we were driving through Arizona, and Bear got really sick. We’re the kind of band that won’t cancel for anything. We could break a foot and sit on stage. I had a stomach flu one time for three days in Texas, had a show every day. I was throwing up until I went on stage, and I’d run to the bathroom as soon as we were done. Bear was in a hotel room, because he was pale and sweating and stuff, and we had to fly him home”¦ It bummed him out that we had to throw in the towel for the first time.

“Fear of Falling” is a song that I wrote on the tour last summer”¦ I was listening to a Sam Cooke record and the lyrics just started popping in my head. It was going to be a tour song, but for about a year in 2007, our focus was entirely too much on business—trying to get signed, and get sponsorships and working with bigger bands and getting bigger tours. I don’t want to talk shit, but there are a lot of bands out there that I don’t think are doing it for the love of music. I think they’re just doing it for fame. I think it’s a bummer. I don’t think music is as genuine as it once was. The last verse of “Fear of Falling” is put in a metaphorical sense, but it’s about how it just bums me out that I can’t trust my peers. Not everybody, but there are a lot of bands that are just really sleazy”¦ I know everyone would like this to be their daily career, but that doesn’t mean you’ve got to fuck one another over and step on each other just to get to the top of the totem pole.

Final Summation is turning 10 this fall. Have you been getting nostalgic over the band’s beginnings?
I don’t really know. I don’t think it’s set in yet, because my biggest thought process is getting the summer tour booked and getting really good shows. It’s one of those things that when I do say it out loud, I’m like, “Holy shit, Final Summation’s been around for 10 years.” My mom always raised me as not a hoarder or pack rat, but totally as a nostalgia junky—keeping pictures and all sorts of shit. I have like five photo albums at home just full of archives and flyers and photos and stuff like that. We’ve never really forgotten our past. I think with turning 10, we’re more concentrating on the future than going back to the past.

Final Summation’s 7-inch release show was held at Shire Road Club on March 27, 2010.

Amy Cluck Paints Sacramento Pink
Words by Liz Franco

Who’s pink, hip, local and sews a mean pillow? Amy Cluck from Peptogirl Industries, that’s who. Amy has been involved with the Sacramento indie scene for several years and doesn’t let the economy—which cost her her job—get in the way of her ability to constantly think up ways to bring out our community’s creative side. As a blogger, Etsy entrepreneur and Web designer, Amy continues to take the D.I.Y. world by storm. Self-described as “stylish and girly,” her style utilizes different hues, textures and media to express her love of creating. She’s come a long way from giving her work away as family Christmas gifts and plans are in the works to expand her personal business even further.

Amy is also the pink brain behind IndieSacramento, a creative hub where designers and art lovers alike can partake in showcasing and taking home handmade treasures. You can also find her at 21st and K streets every Second Saturday through October for Park Your Art, another vendor-driven arts & craft event. Thanks to social media outlets like Twitter and the blogosphere, the crafting community continues to grow, and Amy has a hand in getting the word out locally and is helping to put Sacramento on the map of creative cities. Read on to find out why buttons and stitches aren’t the only things up her sleeve, and how Amy is well on her way to becoming Sacramento’s very own Martha Stewart.

How long have you lived in Sacramento and what do you do?
I’ve lived in Sacramento all my life. I previously worked as a Web developer for a small company, but they began having financial troubles and I was laid off. I’m currently looking for work, and I’ve also been working to develop my business (Peptogirl Industries).
 
Tell us about Peptogirl Industries and your obsession with the color pink!  
I’ve always loved the color pink and was given the nickname “Peptogirl” when I was in college. When I decided to start selling my handmade jewelry in 2005, I knew right away what my business name would be. To this day, I think the color pink really encompasses my style (and that of my business), which is girly and fun. I was brought up making handmade Christmas gifts for family members so I’ve been crafty pretty much my whole life.
 
Where did you learn to do all this amazing stuff?
In high school and college, art and design was always my main focus. As far as jewelry making, I’m mostly self-taught. I learn new techniques by either looking it up online or taking a class. I make a variety of products and I use a lot of vintage supplies/other items not usually associated with jewelry. I make button necklaces and necklaces using vintage spools of thread. I’m just getting into hair accessories now, so I’m hoping to get some of those listed in my online shop soon. The other main products that I offer are embroidery patterns and kits. I draw the patterns myself and am hoping to expand the products that I offer in terms of illustration.

How did you get the idea for IndieSacramento? Is it a one-woman show or do you have a team of supporters?
IndieSacramento began as a one-woman show in December of 2007. I had participated in a few Bay Area shows that specifically catered to a hip and fashionable crowd. Knowing the amazing amount of talent we have in Sacramento, I wanted to start an event like that here. Cities like Austin, Texas, and Portland, Ore., have reputations as being hubs for creative people, but I’m willing to bet we have just as much talent right here in Sacramento. I thought if we banded together with other independent businesses we could start to create a buzz so big that it would put Sacramento on the map [of creative places].

In 2008, I was approached by the Midtown Business Association—they wanted IndieSacramento as part of their big annual holiday celebration. I enlisted the help of three of my friends and again we put on a fairly successful event. Ultimately, the event wasn’t bringing in enough money to keep it going successfully, and we were all donating huge amounts of our time to the cause. It got exhausting. We already had a large event planned for May of last year so we worked to create an even bigger and better event than we’d had in the past and decided we would decrease the frequency of the events to annual or bi-annual as originally planned. At this point, I had only one other partner, Stacey Ball (www.pillsplace.blogspot.com). Despite the rain, we had a huge line of patrons waiting when we opened the show at Fremont Park last May. I was blown away by the support and following we’d developed.

What do you hope to accomplish with it?
At this point, I am planning to keep IndieSacramento as sort of an online collective, where you can shop our vendor goods online. I also update the IndieSacramento blog frequently (www.indiesacramento.blogspot.com) with other local events that our vendors participate in. We do have one more event coming up, however. 

When is the next event?
We were invited to hold an event at The California Museum as part of Women’s History Month. The event will be held on Saturday, March 20, 2010 from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. We will be handing out mini swag bags to the first 50 patrons. On top of that, the museum is offering free admission that day, so it’s a great family-friendly event. There’s more info on the Web site: www.indiesacramento.com.
 
Rumor has it you’re quite the D.I.Y. extraordinaire. How long have you been creating and designing? What inspires you to do so? 
Aw, thanks! I’ve been creating and designing all my life. It’s just something I’m compelled to do. I love combining colors and textures”¦ I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I didn’t create! 

What are some projects you’re currently working on? 
I’m gearing up for the craft fair season so I’ve been busy making inventory. I’ve been making headbands and hair accessories like crazy. I’m also hoping to get a little silk-screening in, and I have a new embroidery pattern planned but it’s a secret.

Who are your favorite D.I.Y. queens?
Her style is so much different than mine, but I think Martha Stewart is a genius. I know she has a whole team of people coming up with ideas and projects for her now, but I’m still in awe of it all. She’s been featuring a lot of younger, hipper designers on her show too, which I think is great. Elsie Flannigan (abeautifulmess.typepad.com) is another favorite of mine. I find her work really inspiring. I’m guest-blogging on her blog a couple of times per month, which is really exciting for me.
 
It seems like everywhere you look, more and more of the community is getting involved with blogging and social media. What are your opinions on the kind of impact this has on the D.I.Y. and handmade community? Do you utilize these tools to get the word out?
I think these tools are really great for spreading the D.I.Y. ethic, because they reach a wide audience. Blogging, Facebook, and Twitter are being used for marketing purposes by all kinds of companies so it’s only natural that they are working for crafters as well. Plus, social media allows you to bond with your customers. With online shopping, you lose that sort of face-to-face exchange but social media allows us that interaction with our customers.
 
Any other plans in the works you’d like to share with us? What are some things you see yourself getting involved in this year?
I just signed up to vend at McMartin Reality’s Park Your Art event on Second Saturdays. I will be there every Second Saturday from March through October. Other than that, I’m looking to expand my product line and take my business to the next level.

Celebrate Women’s History Month with IndieSacramento on Saturday, March 20 from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at The California Museum on the corner of 10th and O streets in downtown Sacramento. Also for more info visit www.peptogirl.com and www.indiesacramento.com.

Newfangled Fooderies

With over a year of food serving experience tucked nicely into the check presenter in the middle pocket of my black apron, I’ve learned things about the commercialized consumption business.

The most enduring information is that weekends equal workworkwork for those employed at eateries. When “normal” working folk are enjoying their weekends of brunching, lunching and dining, I’m waitressing away.

Ultimately, my wait staff workmates and I miss out on all things weekend (and most things holiday).

So when the Petit Pedlar opened at 3011 Franklin Boulevard Feb. 27, I was stoked for a new charcuterie/patisserie to visit morning or noon. But upon further exploration down Franklin last Tuesday, the small wood-framed windowfront of Petit Pedlar was unpeopled. I came to learn that its visitation hours were as limited as the “pen.”

Learning that early afternoon that my yearning for the possibility for a pain au raisin (a flaky, swirled French pastry with macerated raisins and pastry cream)—which I’ve yet to find in Sacramento—would just have to wait, I was disappointed.

When that gorgeous Saturday or Sunday morning when I’m free between 9:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. happens, I will do what is important for you, Submergists.

In the words of Submerge co-creator Jonathan Carabba: “You eat. And you write,” he said. “You drink. And you write. That’s all that matters.”

I’ll be sizing up the Frenchie-ness of this petite place soon. Perhaps it’ll have to wait for the patio expansion of dining space slated for April 15, according to owner Tod Bullen, at which time hours will expand and possibly carry over to the weekdays. You’ll certainly want to check back.
In other rising food news: New fooderies to come to Sacramento!

Being fairly impressed with House Kitchen & Bar (555 Capital Mall) on my lunch visit in January, I had expectations for a marvelous breakfast. A hearty, home-style and sophisticated breakfast is to be expected on the table of this house—when they start serving it. A killer biscuits and country gravy dish with a delicate twist MUST be on the menu. Although late February was the food forecast for breakfast available at House Kitchen & Bar, acquiring a liquor license has held up weekend brunching. But they expect to start serving breakfast in early April.

Speaking of home-style food, Sacramento culinary culture seems to be taking a downswing. To accommodate the economy, many restaurants are offering larger portions of food, more filling food and at lower prices to help diners feel like their money is well-spent. The days of expensive, individually created and crafted delicate elfin eats are over.

Restaurateur Mason Wong is smartly seeing the trend and will be done transforming the haute restaurant Mason’s into the more approachable Cafeteria 15L (on the corner of 15 and L streets) in April.

Offering lunch to late-night eats and questioning, “What is better than chocolate milk and square pizza?” Cafeteria 15L will feature more casual “American comfort cuisine.”

The Cafeteria 15L grand opening will double as a charity event April 6, benefiting the Hope Productions Foundation, which provides resources for children and youth. Tickets are $45 to $55 and more info on the event is available at www.cafeteria15l.com.

I first had Pinkberry frozen yogurt in March 2008 in New York City. It was winter and my green tea yogurt with blueberries and kiwi, topped with a dusting of matcha powder, was purely wondrous. Having never seen the swirls-y treat store in Northern California, it seemed to be an East Coast company. But alas, Pinkberry is a Los Angeles convention, one that will share original, green tea and seasonal flavor mango fro-yo with Sacramento soon.

The first of six branches to open in the Sacramento metro area opens at the Howe ‘Bout Arden Shopping Center April 9. Nordstrom’s Rack and Pinkberry in one complex will be a treat, indeed. Discount designer dresses and mango Pinkberry—what an excellent way to welcome spring.
There’s tons to look forward to, culinarily speaking. And having a weekend off to enjoy it would be ideal. But fro-yo is available often and Pinkberry is a more than acceptable substitute.

In the words of Notorious B.I.G. (who clearly was a newfangled food fan), “If you don’t know, now you know…”

Alesana Authors Their Third Album in Four Years

Stimulating body and mind, Alesana creates a rare breed of heavy music that’s equal parts brain and brawn. Folding literary references, both ancient and modern, into their lyrics, the band sounds sort of like a book on tape set to three harmonized guitars and dueling clean/growled vocals.

Alesana may be the hardest working band in metalcore, and they’re proving that on the road this late winter through early spring with a nationwide tour supporting The Emptiness. The tour will bring Alesana and their theatric live show to the Sacramento area with two dates at The Boardwalk in Orangevale on March 5 and 6. Milke says you should expect plenty of choreography.

The Emptiness comes with a 13-page story. Did the idea for the story come first, or vice-versa?
It’s weird. The idea to want to do a story came to me first. We’ve always based our records on short stories—other literature. Our first record is , our second record is famous fairy tales, so this time around, I knew I wanted to create my own story—or our own story. The idea to write a story came first, but the story and the lyrics and the music all came together in the same year. The record started being born in January of last year, and we finally finished recording it in August. It was over an eight-month period that everything was created.

Is that longer than usual for you guys?
It’s usually par for the course, but this time, a lot more time was spent within those eight months getting ready. It wasn’t like, “Oh we’ve got plenty of time, we can just wait.” We spent the better part of those eight months writing this record.

Why do you think that was? Did having your own story in mind affect your preparation?
In this industry right now, we’re lucky to be on our third record. A lot of bands have a one or two record lifespan, and then no one cares about them any more. Putting out a third record was a special feat for us to accomplish, so we wanted to make sure that we showed as much effort as we could, so we weren’t just a band trying to finish a record deal and throw the last record out there for legal reasons. We wanted people to know that this is our third record, but it’s also the one we’re most proud of and spent the most time on.

You mentioned that your previous albums had allusions to literature. The last song on The Emptiness is called “Annabel,” and since you’re Baltimore guys, is that a nod to Edgar Allen Poe?
Yeah, you’re absolutely right. When we decided we were going to write our short story, we tried to figure out what genre we wanted it to be in. I’m a huge fan of old romantic stories and horror stories from all generations. We found Edgar Allen Poe was the best for combining those two. He was really good at writing really creepy love poetry. “Annabel Lee” was always my favorite of his, because it was so eerie how he could write about a dead person and make it sound so beautiful. That’s why we named the female lead character in our story Annabel, to give thanks to Poe for inspiring our story.

Poe’s poems, and even his prose, have such great rhythm to them. Did his influence seep into the music as well?
They have a musical feel to read them. We’ve always been inspired by, like I said, Greek mythology and the Brothers Grimm and a few contemporary screenwriters and such. We just thought this time we’d go with one of the classics—one of the reasons that this type of prose exists to begin with”¦ We wanted to allude to Poe so people would be able to grab at that, but not make it completely obvious.

Was it more challenging to base something off of a story you’d written yourselves as opposed to an existing literary work?
I think it was definitely more challenging to write to other people’s work, because when it’s your own story, you can manipulate it any way you want. When you get to the bridge of the eighth chapter, and you’re like, “Wow, the story’s just not working for this part of the song,” you can sit there and say, “Well, let’s change the plot point a little bit.” If the story’s already written, you don’t really take those liberties”¦

On the other side of the coin, with the stories we based our past albums on, we’d always twist them a little bit. For example, the fairytale by the Brothers Grimm, “Hansel and Gretel,” we have this song called, “Sweetheart, You’re Sadly Mistaken.” What we did was change the ending; what if Hansel and Gretel ended with them escaping and killing the witch instead? We changed it up in our own weird way. We’ve taken some liberties in the past.

In your bio, you’re quoted as saying that The Emptiness is “an adventure like a Broadway play.” Do you take a lot of inspiration from musicals and/or rock operas?
I’m hugely inspired by rock operas and musicals. I have “Forget Regret” tattooed on my left hand, which is a line from Rent, which is one of the most inspiring pieces of anything ever put together in my lifetime. The Emptiness is something that we dream of taking to another level. I have dreams of making an independent film out of it, but time will tell if we can gain enough popularity with the story to develop any interest.

Were you a theater major in college or into theater in high school?
It’s interesting, because I was really gifted at sports all through high school. I played baseball and basketball. I even had a partial scholarship to Arizona State to play baseball, so even though I was super interested in music and theater and stuff like that, you know how high school cliques go. I couldn’t play baseball and be the guy in theater as well. So even though I had a strong interest in it and as much as I studied it and went to Broadway plays and local plays—and film is my life. I watch so many movies, it’s disgusting. That’s always been my passion and my inspiration, and once I hit a certain age, I realized that—once I wasn’t a dumb kid anymore. That’s when I started playing music.

So you started pursuing music pretty recently.
Yeah, I didn’t really start pursuing guitar full time until I was 17, in my senior year of high school. I was like, “You know what, this is my last year of high school, I might as well even try to learn the guitar.” From there, it kind of took off. I realized that came more naturally than anything.

Were you writing songs right away?
Yeah. My dad always teases me about that. He wishes I’d started earlier, because I’m pretty much self-taught everything: guitar, drums and piano—and vocals too. I never had any formal training in any of those areas, and it all came to me, like I was supposed to do it. I have a lot of really old material that I recorded on my own, and I’ll listen to it every once in a while just to laugh at it. I’ve been writing songs for a pretty long time now.

A lot of bands in your generation, such as yourselves, Thrice and Coheed and Cambria, seem to be putting out concept albums. Why do you think it has become so prevalent, especially in the genre of music you’re a part of?
I think when bands start to get lumped in with each other—and no band likes that. No band likes hearing, “Oh, you’re just like this band.” I think—even if it’s not a concept—but just creating a record that’s for a purpose, even in your own mind. Like, this isn’t just a collection of 10 or 11 songs, but you wrote these 10 or 11 songs with this reason in mind, it’s like you’re separating yourself from the crowd. By putting out a story or a concept record ourselves, people can go, “Oh, they’re not exactly like these other six bands, because they actually took the time to write a story and put together an entire Digipak with two booklets and artwork and crazy stuff going on.” Especially in such a heavily downloaded age of music, to offer extra things with a record definitely makes
a difference.

Alesana will play The Boardwalk in Orangevale on March 5 and 6, 2010.

Why are you Magical?

Comedian Mitch Fatel is adorably awkward and relishes in making people laugh by sharing his degenerate thoughts on dating. Pervy perceptions of female undergarments and anatomy have been comically conveyed through this stand-up dude on Comedy Central specials and made available on his CDs Super Retardo and Miniskirts and Muffins.

In 2009, Fatel finished 10th in Comedy Central’s Stand-Up Showdown (just after Dane Cook!) and also released his first DVD, Mitch Fatel is Magical, last fall. Now, in 2010, Mitch is visiting comedy clubs to offer fans his “magical” show.

Mr. Mitch chatted with Submerge about the origin of his authentic comedic character, the performer’s drug, signing vaginas and visiting Sacramento’s The Punch Line Feb. 25-28, 2010.

You so perfectly ponder the common queries of young people. Is Mitch Fatel making a killing from carefully orchestrated character development? Or, is this just who you are and it just works out as a happy accident that you have an inclination toward such carnal comedy?
I never sat back and wrote a character. It’s not as crafted. How do I explain who I am on stage? If you look at comedy or performing as a drug, I think that who you are on stage is the purest form of who you are in the world, boiled down to its most pristine state. I believe that that is who you are, so when people say, “Is that a character on stage?” I actually say the character is more who I am off stage. The person that I am on stage is the purest form of me. But nobody can be who they are on stage all of the time. When I went on stage, “he” was there and I just let him come out.

You feel most comfortable when you’re on stage?
I actually don’t feel comfortable at all in my life, unless I’m on stage. I’m usually very uncomfortable”¦ I love being up there and it’s my alternate home and the home that I choose to feel safest in. Which is much like a Twilight Zone episode. I really always do wonder who I’d be without the stage. I don’t know who I would be. It’s weird.

You compared the stage to a drug. Your jokes seem largely compared to ones that would be shared in a drinking situation. Are these experiences that you joke about real personal experiences?
Everything in my act is based on something that happened. That’s not to say that it’s exactly true to form. But they’re things that I’ve seen. Everything in my act has someone, had something that led me to thinking that.

When you want to ‘talk like a drug,’ I feel like whenever I’m in a relationship for an extended period of time, I start having less experiences to talk about and ultimately when I’m lonely and miserable and not in a relationship, that’s when I write the best stuff, because then I’m definitely having more experiences on the road, I’m definitely meeting more girls. Relationships tend to put you in a happy place that I don’t think performers usually belong. Happiness in some instances—ironically—is a killer.

Strange how that works—you have to suffer through your art.
It’s worth it. At least, I don’t mind doing it. I mean, it makes me so happy. I’ve been in relationships and I’ve been happy, but quite honestly I’ve never felt that it was as satisfying as being in this business.

I’m curious about the title of your new DVD and the show that aired on Comedy Central on Sept. 18, 2009 Mitch Fatel is Magical. Mitch, Why are you magical?
It’s based on a joke in my act, a true story about a girl at one of my shows that came up to me and said, “I want you to take my virginity. I’m a virgin.” I was shocked and I said, “Why would you want me to take your virginity? Why me?” she said, “Because I think with you it would be magical.” So later that night I wore a wizard’s cap.

You have a show at the end of this month at The Punch Line. You have new material that you’re working with this year?
I have 35 minutes of new material now.

What’s going to be different about this year’s Sacramento show besides the new material? Will you be signing boobies and kissing babies this year?
I will always sign boobies and butts. And actually I signed my first vagina in Ontario, Calif. So, if anyone in Sacramento wants to beat that, they’re more than welcome to.

My act has become really, really pleasant, and I’m so happy with it. Mix of probably about 25 to 30 minutes of classic material and 30 to 35 minutes of new material mixed in”¦ It’s very pleasurable to watch fans come up, and be like, “Oh my God, we thought we knew that joke and you’ve got that new tag there.” It’s one of the beauties of comedy. An old joke will come out and fit itself into a new joke, and I’ll put it in there and it’s a little shout out to the old fans that know it and the new fans who have no idea what they’re getting. I always like to mix and match.

But no matter what, I’m always making people unhappy. People will say, “How come you don’t do bra and panties?” “How come you don’t do the muffin joke?” “How come you don’t do the magical joke?” Unlike a performer who’s singing a song, comedy has to stay very fresh. You constantly have to add. For my own sanity, I need to go up on stage and have new fun stuff to do. I’m working on a new bit that I’m premiering this week and I hope it makes it to Sacramento.

Is there anything you remember about your performance here in Sacramento at The Punch Line last year?
[Laughs] Yeah! I remember that there was a crazy girl. A crazy girl that came back to the hotel room and kept trying to knock on the door to get in.

Is there anything you’re looking forward to in your Sacramento stop this year?
That girl not knocking on my door.

I’ve got to be honest, and I don’t want to bullshit anybody and say that I like one market more than the other. I will say that the West Coast, San Francisco, Sacramento, Los Angeles areas, are my towns. I have a lot more fun in one of those towns than one where I don’t feel a connection to the people.

What is the question that you hate being asked?
Let me think which one I hear a lot by interviewers”¦ “Are we gonna see you in a TV show?” Because in my mind I’m like, “Well, yeah! If I get a TV show.” My stock line, which is true, is: If it comes, it comes. If not, I’m happy. I love it, telling jokes for a living. TV would be secondary. I never got into this to be a TV star. I got into this to be a comedian. It’s what I love doing. I just want to make more and more people laugh.

You’ve released two CDs and a DVD and they’re in digital form on iTunes. You post videos and fan phone calls on your Web site. You’re pretty tech savvy. As far as technology and comedy are concerned, what’s the next step? Is there going to be a Mitch Fatel iPhone app? Fatel Mobile?
That’s funny that you say that because someone did approach me with doing a Mitch Fatel iPhone app. I told them to work on it. So, sure, they’ll work on it.

I’m not as technically savvy as you think. I have a team that takes care a lot of that stuff. I design stuff and come up with ideas to help them with it. But I’ve always believed a comic should do what he does best, which is writing new material, and should have a team around me to put that stuff together. All I have to do is give them content. I put the creativity and the fun into it.

Mitch Fatel is Magical is set to re-premier on Showtime in June, 2010, in its unedited, beep-free entirety. In the meantime, stop by The Punch Line Feb. 25-28 to see the magic in person.

Submerge Scours Sacramento to Find the Perfect Pint of Guinness

Budweiser claims to be the King of Beers. If you consider sales numbers alone, it’s difficult to dispute such a claim. With its billboards, pop culture-defining Super Bowl ads and presence at just about every bar, pub, tavern, concert and sporting event in the United States, there is no beer more ubiquitous. So we acquiesce; yes, Budweiser is truly the king of beers, but if that’s so, that makes Guinness the sagely old druid inhabiting the forests surrounding the kingdom. Sorry to blow your minds like that, but it’s totally true. Guinness is like Magic the Gathering, but better because you don’t have to be a nerd to drink it and it’ll give you a hearty buzz.

There is no beer on earth quite like a Guinness. Sure, there are far more adventurous and esoteric choices. In fact, right here in Sacramento, there are a plethora of homegrown brews that provide a wide breadth of flavors and brewing styles—all of which deserve your attention. But Guinness should always hold a special place at your beer-drinking table. Rich, creamy and delicious (and believe it or not, relatively low in calories and alcohol content), Guinness is readily available at most pubs, restaurants and supermarkets (or at the very least, any such establishments that are worth going to). It may have been your first foray from the world of dark beers. Anywhere you go, no matter what drinking establishment you may venture into, if the place serves Guinness, rest assured you can enjoy a quality adult beverage at a decent price.

Know this: as you watch your trusty barkeep serve you a pint of Guinness, you’re not just having a beer, but you’re partaking in a tradition that dates back centuries. In 2009, Guinness celebrated its 250th anniversary, making this noble Irish stout older than the United States. The story goes that in 1759, Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000-year lease for an unused brewery in Dublin, Ireland. The signing cost ran him around $100 and rent was settled at $66 annually. Arthur died in 1803, but Guinness is still brewed in that same brewery to this very day.

It’s easy to see why Guinness has stood the test of time. It’s truly a beautiful sight to behold: from the rolling cascade of a perfect pour, to its creamy head and its dark, rich color (considered dark ruby as opposed to black), Guinness looks like a work of art in a glass. But are all pints of Guinness created equal? There are rules that must be followed to build the perfect pint—a ritual, if you will: According to Guinness, a pint should take just under two minutes to pour. The pouring process is two-fold; first, a quick pour into a tilted, tulip-shaped pint glass (Imperial, please). This first phase should fill the glass about three-quarters of the way. The pint should then be left to settle before finishing with a slow pour that should result in the head forming a dome over the mouth of the glass.

With St. Patrick’s Day approaching, you may be asking yourself, “Are Sacramento pubs and taverns doing their part to uphold the Guinness tradition?” Fear not! We here at Submerge took it upon ourselves the arduous task of scouring the streets of Sacramento in search of the perfect pint. Don’t get stuck drinking green beer this St. Patrick’s Day—have some respect for yourself! Read on and discover the best place to gorge yourselves on sweet Guinness this March 17.

O’Mally’s (1109 2nd Street, Sacramento)
POUR 7.7
ATMOSPHERE 7
VALUE 7.7
TASTE 215

Our first destination on our epic journey. O’Mally’s scored favorably, but not exceptionally, in every category. $4.50 is a great price for a pint of Guinness, but it was served in a regular 16-ounce glass, thus leaving a small 4-ounce void in our souls.

de Vere’s (1521 L Street, Sacramento)

POUR 10
ATMOSPHERE 9
VALUE 6.3
TASTE 300

Though the spotty cell phone reception in the back room made it difficult for Submerge‘s advertising director Jonathan Carabba to tweet, “beers at de Vere’s” on his fancy-ass iPhone, de Vere’s atmosphere and pour were both of the highest quality. A knowledgeable bartender schooled us on the history of the pub. Hell, Guinness even issued de Vere’s its own branded tulip imperial pint glasses. However, at $6 per imperial pint, how are we supposed to enjoy our favorite stout and still pay said fancy-ass iPhone bills?

Streets of London (1804 J Street, Sacramento)

POUR 7.5
ATMOSPHERE 5.8
VALUE 10
TASTE 1,469

If you like seeing boobs and fights—and let’s be honest, who doesn’t?—then this is the place for you. In fact, two scrums broke out during our time there. But don’t let Streets of London’s rowdy interior fool you, those comely lasses behind the bar can serve up a killer pint. Our pours were excellent, and at just $5 for an imperial pint, we had plenty of money left to invite Guinness’ best friend Jameson to the party. Now, who wants a head butt?

Bonn Lair (3651 J Street, Sacramento)

POUR 5.3
ATMOSPHERE 9
VALUE 8
TASTE 835

This is a quaint and neighborhood-y place—pretty much Streets of London’s cozy antithesis. We loved the atmosphere, but unfortunately, atmosphere doesn’t get you drunk. We paid just $4 for our regular pint, which is a good enough deal that we won’t miss our extra 4 ounces; however, our pour left much to be desired. Our bartender shaved off our bubbles from over the mouth of the glass. We mourned the loss of our foam dome by ordering a second pint.

Gallagher’s (1201 K Street, Sacramento)

POUR 7.5
ATMOSPHERE 5.8
VALUE 10
TASTE 4,147

Our final stop on our long and harrowing quest. We almost didn’t find the place because you have to walk through a lobby to get there, but all in all, Gallagher’s wasn’t all that bad. The pub is a part of The Broiler Steakhouse, but on this night, our only meal came in a glass. The bartender gave us a quick and loveless pour, and it showed in a flimsy head, but with a value that rivaled Streets of London, Gallagher’s was a fitting if not somber ending to our journey.

THE WINNER!

As you can see, we took a very scientific approach in this guide to finding the most perfect pint of Guinness Sacramento has to offer. We attempted to factor in “Taste” into the scoring, but it became quickly apparent—as scores rose into the stratosphere—that Guinness is like sex: even when it’s bad, it’s still really fucking good. Strangely enough, the more we had, the better it tasted. Go figure! But enough with the buildup, who was crowned champion in this perfect pint face-off? Obviously, the winner is you for deciding to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with such a fine beverage (also, Submerge for figuring out a way to write off two nights of solid drinking on our 2010 taxes). We congratulate you! Wherever you find yourself on March 17, order yourself a frothy pint of plain, and know that you’ve made the right choice. But, you know, drink responsibly.

Put professional skateboarder Omar Salazar on the phone for an interview, even while he’s in Australia on a Nike Skateboarding team trip, and you’ve got one of the nicest dudes you’ll ever meet; caring, witty and all around fun to talk to. Put Salazar on a skateboard, assuredly where he’d rather be than on the phone, and you’ve got a savage on wheels; a straight-up wild man that charges at his tricks with relentless speed, dedication and concentration. The 26-year-old skater from Sacramento has made quite a name for himself in the industry, especially within the last couple years with his part in Alien Workshop’s video Mind Field, making the March 2009 cover of Thrasher and the announcement from Nike that Salazar will have his own signature shoe. But all the success hasn’t come easily.

Salazar was raised by loving and supportive parents who fled to the States from their home country of Chile. Pursuing a career in skateboarding, though, was not exactly what they had in mind for their son in this so-called land of opportunity. “They were always like, ‘Hey look, you’re lucky you have opportunities here, you need to go to school and you need to work for a big company,” said Salazar of his parents outlook on his skating. I was always like, ËœYeah, but I don’t want to do that; I’m not good at that. This is what I want to do.”

Salazar remembers having to hide his skateboards and boxes of products that companies were sending him so his parents didn’t get suspicious. “I didn’t want to disappoint nobody, but I was never good in school,” he admitted. “I mean, I finished high school, but I was never good as far as book smarts goes, I’m better at street smarts.” Those early years also consisted of a lot of couch surfing, riling up change from said couches to hit up Del Taco, raiding Safeway’s sample tables and bombarding open house food platters. “Yeah, I’ve come a long way,” Salazar said with a laugh, looking back.

A long way is an understatement, as this month Nike will release Salazar’s first signature shoe, a career milestone for any athlete involved in any sport. Salazar will be the second Sacramento-area skater to get his own Nike shoe, as teammate and close friend Stefan Janoski did so just last year.

“In the beginning,” Salazar remembered, “Before Nike gave anyone shoes, Stefan and I, we’d had offers before in the past from other shoe companies, but I always stick with what I believe in. I believe I’m a loyal rider. That’s just the most important thing. So, I figured if I kept loyal with Nike and the people I work with, then something good was going to happen.”

Even after Nike told them years ago that Paul Rodriguez would be the only team skater to get his own signature shoe, Salazar stuck it out, all the while telling Janoski, “We’re going to get shoes, trust me.” Eventually they both got the phone call and for Salazar, it was sort of an ‘I told you so’ moment when they did.

“I don’t want to sound cliché or lame, but in a way I kind of manifested it because I knew it was going to happen,” said Salazar, not in a cocky manner, but a confident one. “Even before they offered me a shoe, I drew up a design and straight up put one in my room, one in my bathroom and one in my closet.” Salazar would be gone for months on skating trips and he’d come home having forgotten about his dream shoe designs, which re-invigorated him to skate harder, to keep going so that one day it would be a reality. “Like a year later after working hard and having fun skating and stuff, they hit me up and were like, ‘Hey, we want to give you a shoe after Stefan.'”

When it came time to actually visit Nike HQ in Portland, Ore., to meet the people who would be designing his shoe, Salazar was well prepared with his sketches, his favorite color schemes and other things that represented him and his personal style. “When I first started working on the shoes, they were like, ‘Shoot us your favorite colors, your favorite objects, your favorite things around the house, bring us photos of them.’ I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about,” said Salazar. Nike was essentially asking for pieces of Omar so that his shoe “could tell a story.” Turns out, Nike doesn’t just give signature shoes to anyone and when they do, they always have little stamps of the athlete’s personality and style on them. Take for instance Michael Jordan’s famous Air Jordan logo, jersey number, etc. found on his shoes. Salazar wanted a classic-looking silhouette, but with Nike’s new technology infused.

“I’m really into the ’50s and oldies, and I like old tin cans and old rockets and outer space and all that stuff,” said Salazar of some of his personal interests. Hence the reason his shoe features a cool little rocket ship on the sole. Salazar also pointed out that he likes to surprise people, so he told Nike he wanted to make the tongue of his shoe interchangeable. “I wanted to have fun with the shoe and I wanted it to be functional for people,” said Salazar. “Some people like to tie their shoes real tight and some people keep their shoes real loose. Some people like a thin tongue, some people like a real thick tongue,” he said. He also wanted Sacramento-area residents to connect with the color scheme, so he included purples and blacks to match our beloved Kings’ colors.

What really makes Salazar’s signature shoe stand out, though, is the inclusion of Nike’s Flywire technology, something new to the world of skateboarding shoes. Basically, shoes with Flywire are really light, yet really supportive—two attributes not normally associated with one another in the sporting shoes industry. In the past, more material meant more support, but in turn the shoe got heavier. But with Flywire, Nike took Kevlar and spun it into an embroidery-thin thread for reinforcement, and then they added Lycra in areas that needed power and stretch. According to Salazar, they feel great. “Nike’s technology enables the shoe to be lighter and support your foot more and lock it down really well,” he said of the shoe’s feel.

Sacramentans will be able to witness Salazar ripping up B Street Skatepark in his new shoes on Sunday, March 7, at the official shoe launch demo along with Nike teammates Paul Rodriguez, Stefan Janoski, Brian Anderson, Justin Brock, Grant Taylor, Daryl Angel, David Clark, Elissa Steamer and Brad Staba. Anyone who knows anything about skateboarding knows those are some heavy hitters and that this event is will not be to miss. As our conversation was coming to an end, Salazar closed with a bit of advice for the young skaters out there. “The one most influential person that told me how to get shit was John Cardiel, Sacramento’s best skateboarder ever. Whenever I was trying something, just trying for hours and hours, he’d yell out, ‘You’ve got to want it! You’ve got to want it!’ That stuck in my head forever, so if there’s any message I’d give anyone, it’s that.”

Catch Salazar and the Nike SB team on Sunday, March 7, 2010 at B Street Skatepark. Demo starts at 2 p.m.

Cover photo by Jonathan Humphries

In addition to the normal drove of city dwellers on-the-go to work or to-and-fro, some approximated 110,000 college students started scurrying about central Sacramento last week. All that movement about town means munchies will be required as part of curriculum to maintain attendance, awake-ness and energy.

We’ve all got to eat, but studying and snacking are practically symbiotic. You’ve got to be at school by 7 a.m., have four classes back-to-back, then a lab before going to work? Well then chomping away on cheesy Doritos in class almost seems acceptable.

Snacks, quick bites, nibbles or treats aren’t new concepts, but consider this a refresher, like food to our bodies, for our mange-ing manners. That goes for any a busy Sacramentan body, but students are some of the worst offenders, perhaps because they don’t feel an obligation to be considerate, either out of fatigue, or just because they don’t care.

For this, I’ve thought about a solution: make the offending party aware of their socially insulting snacking by embarrassing them in a group setting. Good luck if that works. But it probably won’t.

Purchased food, prepared food and produce are all commonly consumed popular snacks. Fair enough. They are generally conveniently located and taste-friendly snack choices, but for the sake of health, convenience, consideration and conserving scrilla spent on snacking, some planning is necessary.

When packin’ for a snackin’, variables like portability, odor, cleanup and long-term effects are important. Stinky, crunchy, crumply, mushy snacks and ones that make you gassy (eeeeww) are annoying and embarrassing.

You may fall victim to vending machine buys and purchases at nearby cafes and fast food joints. You can buy it on the spot, it’s ready, it’s prepared and the garbage is easily tossed when you’re done. But that could be costly for your pocket, health and breath.

Some go-to snacks that come to mind straight away are treats like whole grain Lean Pockets, yogurt, crackers and bananas. But these items, although tasty, don’t provide seamless snackery. Unless you have a refrigeration unit in your bag, perishables like dairy products and frozen foods just aren’t convenient and could spoil. Bananas, like hard-boiled eggs, carry an odor and appearance that can be appalling to others. Plus, smoosh-ability is a factor. Making noise, or trying not to, is distracting and one can’t enjoy crackers as one should.

After careful scrutinizing of the best foods for strategic snacking, I’ve found some great snacks for grazing on-the-go. Most of which can be found locally, and many of which are USDA certified organic and ethically sourced ingredients.

Acai berry beverages. The acai berry has decent recognition. The dark purple, chalky blueberry-tasting fruit makes delicious juice and has great health benefits. With 10 times the antioxidants of red grapes, acai berry also decreases sluggishness, suppresses appetite and helps with hangovers. And what’s more, juice blends like Acai Machine by Naked Juice and Rio Energy acai blends from Sambazon are thick and filling and only about $3 each at area grocery stores. Bottles of juice are self-contained, easily stored, compact in size, light in odor and can survive in a bag all day—if they last that long.

Gummy fruit snacks. Sure, there’s sugar, but we are speaking of snacking for speed here. Sugar gives that burst of energy needed for speed. Aside from all fruit gummies tasting yummy, the little portioned packets are perfect for a mid-class snack when you want spur-of-the-moment sweets. Easy to pack, consume and dispose of, fruit snacks are pocketbook friendly (six packs for $1.50 to $3.50, depending), not messy, not noisy to nosh and easy to offer a to a friend. Fruit Jammers and Gushers are popular choices, but more nutritious gummies are available for snacking. Some have higher levels of vitamins A, B and C, and some pack super sweet power. PowerBar Gel Blasts Energy Chews are super-sized gummies that come in berry sweet flavors like raspberry and strawberry-banana and pack a sugar punch with energy and edibility.

Small, self-contained fruits. Mandarin oranges, tangelos, small apples (Fuji, Golden Delicious and Sonyo are my faves) are in-season and tasty. Such self-portioned, light and healthy snacks require no prep or peeling, don’t bruise very easily and smell nice. Being sure to purchase produce that is ripe, but not overly so, will minimize smooshing, juicy eating and cleanup on desk aisle two, seat five.

Sliced bread, rolls, bagels, buns, and biscuits. Any type of bread can be packed easily, eaten easily, stored easily and be a rather filling snack. Pick up a roll on the go or just plastic bag a slice from home. A slice of whole wheat bread can serve as a light snack and cost about 10 cents, while a cheesy jalapeño foccacia roll will run you about 70 cents but will almost pass itself off for a meal. Bagels are bombastic and don’t need to be sliced, toasted and cream cheesed to be enjoyed.

String Cheese. These little mozzarella munchers are cheap, tasty and nutritious. A single string cheese, light or regular will only cost a quarter to 55 cents and stays cool inside its wrapper for a while. What if you forget it in your bag or the classroom is warm? What will happen to your coveted string cheese snack? Let’s be honest, class, nearly no one will turn down a stick of string cheese, lukewarm or even room temperature. You can use the wrapper to hold the fromage so your pencil-tainted phalanges don’t contaminate the goods. I mean, string cheese!

Keeping these snacking principles in mind, you’ll be sure to snack with the best of ’em, sans snacking faux-pas incidents.

This week’s lesson:
Considerate Consumption = Check+
Socially Responsible Snacking = Check+

Hollar at a snacking scholar.

Tycho

Tycho and the Command Collective look to the next decade of Sacramento Electronica

Sacramento is a cowtown; we cannot escape that fact. Living in a city disrespected by the rest of California keeps us out of the Hypemachine, to a fault, but it’s also a benefit. Our artists move to San Francisco and blow up, resulting in press that neglects to mention origins prior to the Bay Area. Ambient electronica darling Tycho is one of our lost children. But not lost entirely as Tycho, who in a brief interview, enlightened me to the reunion of a lost scene he once helped cultivate in his true hometown.

“We used to have this thing called Command Collective,” Scott Hansen said. Hansen is Tycho, and Tycho is on the rise in national exposure with the Coastal Brake 12-inch on Ghostly International. Hansen was raised in Fair Oaks and lived in Midtown for eight years, where he made his first two (and a half, somehow) albums. Circumstances lacking relevance to this story resulted in Hansen moving to San Francisco, but he spoke with candor of his fledgling years in Sacramento designing Tha Fruitbat’s album art, Blue Bell compilation covers and Command Collective show posters.

“Doing those show posters and compilation covers were the impetus to my whole style,” he said. “I talk about it like it was a big deal in my career, at least in my head, but I don’t know how much of an impact it had on the random people who went to the shows.”

The early Noughties were ripe with enthusiasm for electronic music. A new millennium aroused hope of flying cars and space-age fabrics that would dress us down in shiny suits. Electronic music, devoid of organic instruments made of brass, wood, sheep intestines, gourds and bones, was an evolutionary step providing temperance to our insecurities about relying on advanced technologies as the providers of aural fascination. Unfortunately, for some, watching a nerdy dude stand at a laptop, nodding to his push-button performance lacked the visceral visual aesthetic of rock star power poses and frenetic shirtless drummers drenched in sweat.

Opinions varied, but according to reports, there was a consensus that between 2002 and 2004 Command Collective shows at Espresso Metro were “the scene.” For those who lived for it, it was a window of fortunate times. For some outsiders trying to understand the emerging scene, attention spans were tried with grueling self-indulgent sets.

“It was a pretty loose deal,” Hansen said. “It wasn’t like we were a group making music together. The reality of it was we were the only electronic musicians in Sacramento. We might as well play these shows together rather than open up for a bunch of rock bands.”

Command Collective was Dusty Brown, Evan Schneider (who operated as Tha Fruitbat and formed the groups Hysteresis Loop and Two Playa Game), Park Avenue (now known as Lifeliner), Tycho and Chachi Jones. DJ Mupetblast was the resident DJ of the collective, filling in the downtime between sets at the Metro. “Donald [Bell, Chachi Jones] and Tycho put [the collective] together to reel in all the top dudes from the different crews that were doing beat shows,” Schneider said. The collective focused on IDM, jungle and ambient sounds. There was a dance scene, that cannot be ignored, but it was another scene entirely.

Schneider began in ’98 with his band Hysteresis Loop. He and Dusty Brown came up together as operators in the drum and bass scene at raves and underground venues. Later, Schneider and Dain Fitzgerald, known as DJ Mupetblast, had Synthetic Sundays, a weekly (later became monthly) night of electronic music at The Press Club.

Schneider said the impact of Command Collective as a voice for the electronic scene resulted in the inclusion of an electronica award in The Sammies. The addition was prompted by a biting letter from Bell to the editor, who responded to a negative review of a Metro show. “He was the writer in the group,” Schnieder said. “It was great that he used his skills to volley some back at the critics.”

Several factors contributed to the dissolution of Command Collective. The Rave Act limiting the underground shows, a dwindling support of electronic music by venues, promoters and fans, the revivals of rock and folk as respected genres and the collective’s members’ lives changing. Chachi Jones moved to San Francisco for a six-figure editing job, and Hansen had his journey to pursue as well. Everyone carried on, but the name slowly dissipated with the scene.
“It felt like things died a couple years after it got started,” Hansen said. “Metro got sold, which was one of the only venues sympathetic to our cause at the time. People knew about those shows and it was a really cool centralized location. After that [closed] the whole movement lost steam.”

As for the “dude at a laptop” performance criticism, Schneider said it was a crutch of the era adapting to change. “When you’re someone who started with racks of samplers, synths and shit and you finally get a laptop with all that built inside of it, you do have a whole studio onstage. It’s just hidden,” he said. “It also wasn’t very affordable for any of us to do a sick multimedia show.”

Therein lies a vital adaptation by electronica, the inclusion of visual aids to pull your attention away from the man at the laptop. Tycho’s live set is ripe with live tweaked visuals based around his graphic design. Schneider said he tries to bring a “video guy” to his bigger shows as well.

When Hansen blogged on his ISO50 design Web site about the Sacramento Electronica Music Festival, he did not hesitate to mention the partial reunion of Command Collective; partial because Chachi Jones is not playing. The SEMF could be the first step in a resurgence of the scene and Schneider feels the climate is right for it. “Everybody is stoked on the post-Command Collective stuff,” he said in regards to Tycho. “The scene has expanded as far as people making more diverse music. Most of the indie rock and IDM people have heard of Tycho. I’ve been to Seattle and have people know who Tycho and the Command Collective are.”

When Hansen attends shows that Dusty invites him to, he gets the occasional scene supporter of yore regaling him with “I miss those days” comments. Besides nostalgia for the tight-knit scene he once cultivated, Hansen said he misses Sacramento in general. Schneider said with the name garnering a buzz, he hopes for an integrated scene once again. He mentioned Sister Crayon and CityState as the fresh talent emerging that could bring new life to the scene. “My exposure to the scene now is whatever Dusty is doing,” Hansen said. “From what I’ve heard from Dusty, things are on the upswing again.”

Catch Tycho along with a long list of performers at the Sacramento Electronica Music Festival from Jan. 28-30. For a full lineup and more information, go to www.sacelectronicafest.tumblr.com

Wants… desires… we all have them. We wake up early most mornings, get dressed and venture out in the pursuit of these things… these ideas of perfection. The game of life does its best to throw up roadblocks on our road to eternal happiness. And every time, we think how much better life would be without these bumps in the road. At some point in our brief history, someone even coined a phrase for use in such a situation: in a perfect world.

In a perfect world, you would truly have all the time in the world! A day could have more than 24 hours or, if you wanted, it could last only seconds. The day you first met someone special could last an eternity and the day you said goodbye forever could be over in an instant. We would all be sorta like Evie from that TV show, Out of This World.

In a perfect world, sleep would be optional. You could record every moment or doze through entire months. If you did decide to sleep, your dreams would always be vivid and memorable. In them, you would usually be flying. You would never find yourself naked at school or surprised by an exam. Sex dreams would never leave you with a mess to clean up.

In a perfect world, she would get all your jokes and not find you crude or distasteful. She would be funny herself. Heads would turn when she entered a room. The world would be as drawn to her as you are. She would leave her square-ass boyfriend for you because you’re “so real.” She would like to hit the town, but not too much and never to The Park or any other place that requires her man to wear dress shoes with jeans just to have a beer. The sex would be amazing and last much longer than five minutes. (Ladies?)

In a perfect world, neither of you would have to go to work the next day. There would be no deadlines. Money would finally begin growing on trees. Change would grow on bonsai trees and broccoli stalks. You wouldn’t have rent or a mortgage to worry about.

In a perfect world, driving long distances would actually be enjoyable. Slow people and idiots would actually stay to the right. Semi-trucks would have their own highway system. Car pool lanes would be open to cars with two or more occupants or for people who just really need it. Thanks to Doc Brown, your car would run on garbage and it could fly (time travel optional). Getting caught for speeding would be a good thing and road kill would taste delicious.

In a perfect world, every meal would taste as if a highly trained chef prepared it. Each dish would be plated beautifully and would fill you up, but not too much. Even fast food would get it right. Taco Bell would actually layer the seven layers of your burrito instead of stacking them one at a time. Carl’s Jr. would stop making you ill, and the KFC on Freeport Boulevard would set up their drive thru correctly. You would always have room for dessert.

In a perfect world, you could eat all you wanted and never get fat. Working out would always be fun. Accordingly, loud grunting would not be allowed at the gym nor would naked old men. The fruits of your efforts would be immediate and require little to no upkeep. For you yoga heads, downward-facing dog would finally feel good.

In a perfect world, you would be stress-free, and yet still know all the “hard” lessons of life. No one would die, but you could block certain people, even if only briefly. Tears would only be joyful. Moments of awkwardness would never happen. Paragraphs could sometimes end and begin again without transition.

Show me a man with a perfect life, and I will show you a sign-in sheet for the closest loony bin. “Perfect” simply doesn’t exist. It’s there to serve as the top of some imaginary scale we created to rate our life experiences. Still, it does have a purpose. What I presented may be mostly fantasy, but it keeps me going and maybe that’s all there is to it… in a perfect world.