Go find your fat pants… Thanksgiving is here! Turkey Day is one of, if not the best, American holidays. For a nation known for mass proportions, it’s always comforting when gluttony is openly encouraged. Each year toward the end of November, families battle through traffic and with each other to get at plates loaded with [...] [...more]
Fall is back and you know what that means: new TV shows! Each autumn our network overlords throw us a fresh batch of random shit to watch. I took a peek at the actual shows premiering this year and it’s not good. What will I mindlessly stare at for 30 to 60 minutes at a [...] [...more]
I love food. I should weigh 500 pounds. I’ve never met a cuisine I couldn’t enjoy in some way, shape or form. I sometimes do an involuntary little food dance in my seat. It sort of looks like a dog wagging its tail accompanied by some lip smacking. This dance worried my ex, as she [...] [...more]
by Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com What do I got to do? Your boy is about to be the big 3-0 and I’m still single. Oh I’ve tried… even came pretty close once, but it just ain’t happening for me. I probably won’t be in People’s “Sexiest Men†issue any time soon, but I’m not ugly. Maybe [...] [...more]
To read the questions brought forth by Bocephus in our last issue. Ghostface is so tight precisely because he says ill shit like that. Dude comes hard and still makes you think. Given that, I’m not sure where we go from here, but I’m hoping it’s at least in the upward direction. I got a [...] [...more]
Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to the Romans while Jesus slept? Why is Ghostface so dope? Where do we go from here? How long will it last? Is it over yet? Says who? Why should I listen to you? Who could possibly make sense of this? Why [...] [...more]
Bocephus Chigger I must be certifiably insane. To some this may not be a revelation; in fact, admitting it has been a long time coming. How do I know I’m insane? There have been signs in the past: attachment issues, light compulsiveness, depression, self-abuse… But in the end, it took three years of law school [...] [...more]
