The long and short of cuffed stylings, Picnic Day 2011

In a grand turnout, young ladies and gentlemen enjoyed Picnic Day in Davis with a seemingly carefree fashion perspective.

Floral dresses, gladiator sandals and “Bro” tank tops gave numerous peeks into summer stylings; but cuff detailing took the picnic basket.

Men and maidens alike wore shorts, capris and pants with the subtle detail of varying cuff stylings. Just a small cuff on simple apparel draws attention to bright and interesting outfit accents–like killer shoes or braided belts.

Such a slight nod to style is like a wink at summer fashion, like “I see you, Summer.”

“Anything said off the cuff has usually been written on it first,” Robin Skelton, British poet, scholar and witch, from “A Devious Dictionary.”

Style extends beyond apparel and accessories. The entire point of expressing a style point of view is to create and exemplify an aura, an attitude.

Expressing an attitude and giving off an overall “vibe” is a large part of what style achieves–the ability to tell your story to strangers, without saying a word.

When considering the mustache’s place in fashion the “creeper-stache” comes to mind for most young people. But there was an époque (and maybe time-tested circles), when mustaches were a regal and masculine sign of strength and power. Perhaps that is why the bearded lady was such a draw at traveling circuses. The ultimate anomaly in such times: a woman exemplifying a prominent proclamation of power and strength.

Andrea Velasco, Star Mendez, Hana Mousavi {Zorro/Pencil/Einstein}

Ryan Scalis {Bushy Captain Hook}

These days in Sacramento, the Salvador Dali, Captain Hook and other variations of mustaches give gentlemen that same flare and sense of style from earlier times, but with a modern touch.

Some furry facial fun was had for all who attended the Mustache Bash at Shady Lady for the Anthony’s Barbershop Mustache March competition. Vote for your favorite mustache pic on Facebook (for each applicant who sent a photo, a donation was made from Anthony’s Barbershop to Locks of Love).

And gentlemen, as Sean Chandler cautioned, “Never point a loaded mustache at a woman you don’t intend to thrill.”  

Josselin Basaldu
capitalcapture@submergemag.com

{Mustache Proclamations}

Nick Ehrmann {General Lee}

Jessica Walker, Chris Gugino {Dear Watson/Motorhead}

Amy McGeorge {Mustache Proclamations}

Kevin Poulos {Low Salvador Dali}

Pretty ‘Stachey {Mario/Lars The Vikings}

Full Belly Farm

Road 43 – Guinda, Calif.

Crossbred stone fruit has been a high for foodies these days. Apriums, tomato plums, necterlums and the like have spurred interest and curiosity in Sacramento.

While perusing the produce section of the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op last week, I had an eye out for new fruit mixtures like the plumarines I saw a few weeks prior.

Although there were no “new” fruits, a large presence of summer produce not yet saturating the farmers market scene prevailed. Long, thin, furry-skinned Armenian cucumber and various melons like Galia, Charentais and Ambrosia were prominently presented. Next to each, a little laminated card explained their local origin from “58 miles” away at Full Belly Farm in the Capay Valley.

Much like many an urbanite, relishing farmers market visits as actively connecting to my food source was as close to the farm as I got. The idea of farm forays was too rural for my metropolitan mindset; therefore, I’d never seen where local produce is grown or how it’s processed for shipping the short distance to Sacramento.

I had questions like, “What’s special about this farm?” and “Why is our Natural Foods Co-op featuring so much produce from this farm?”

Produce manager Kerri Williams cleared some confusion, explaining the Natural Foods Co-op’s organic produce, featured local farms, and relationship with Full Belly Farm.

With the largest 100 percent organic produce section in the United States, the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op insures most of its produce is local–within 200 miles, Williams said. At least 80 percent of farms providing produce for Co-op shoppers are within those parameters, she said.

Full Belly Farm has held produce realty at the Natural Foods Co-op for “at least 25 years.” Certified organic in 1985, this farm was an organic staple at the Natural Foods Co-op for 13 years before the produce section made the switch from conventional to organic, Williams said.

Aside from obvious health benefits, my interest in organic produce is barely beyond skin-deep. Call me a superficial shopper, but the true-fruit smell and appearance of organic produce always attracts me. Since organic produce usually tastes better, fresher, more of earth-grown goodness, I definitely judge produce as I initially do books: by the cover.

Speaking of beauty, Williams said aside from featuring most of Full Belly Farm’s crop, “It’s also the most beautiful of area farms.”

Fifty-eight miles seemed like a world away and the Capay Valley was a place I’d never heard of. I needed to see this farm for myself and made the produce pilgrimage to Guinda, Calif.

As it is busy season for farming, I called and made an appointment to visit.

The hour-drive northwest from Midtown was interesting. After passing Woodland and Cache Creek Casino and coasting into the gorgeously narrow Capay Valley, I lost cellular reception minutes before turning right on Road 43 into Full Belly Farm.

It was mid-afternoon and the sun was splashing down the steep hills of the valley, pooling over the farm. Co-owner Judith Redmond greeted me as I walked into a thankfully shadowy barn-like structure. Circle-spectacled and wide-smiled, Redmond spoke warmly but informatively with me about various types of produce, while particularly hand-packing fragrant, multi-colored heirloom tomatoes into cushioned cardboard boxes.

To understand said mixed fruits, Redmond explained hybrid and crossbred produce.

Produce is hybrid to preserve a specific quality like color, low-fuzz skin, growing capacity in certain agricultural circumstances or shipping, Redmond said.

Local farmers grow tons of crossbreeds, and have for decades, practicing on-site agronomy to see what “flourishes in their geographical location.”

“Farmers are trying to take back their rightful place as stewards of plant-growing resources,” Redmond said.

Saving the items with the most desirable qualities, hybridizing is a seasons-long process. And hybrid produce are the end of the line genetically–their seeds won’t produce more with like characteristics, Redmond explained.

Although unpredictable, hybridization and cross-pollination can occur in nature, both agronomy practices can be accomplished in a scientific lab. Farmers can also manually cultivate hybrid produce and facilitate cross-pollination, but the process is expensive, drawn-out and unsuccessful, Redmond said.

Full Belly grows hybrid varieties of white sweet corn, slicer tomatoes and yellow watermelon, but Redmond said she also sees occasional cross-pollination in crops like white corn and decorative corn grown in a neighboring area of the farm.

When fruits are crossbred, the process includes taking two similar fruits and cross-polinating them. Stone fruits are often crossbred, Redmond said. Melons seem apt to crossbreeding as well, with honeylopes and Crenshaw melons available among others.

Although not specializing in crossbred produce, Full Belly is beyond beautiful with lush, green, cared-for crops receiving all the glory of the sun funneling down upon it.

With permission, I walked the grounds freely and smiled as wide as Redmond in reaction to the nourishing colors, fragrances and favorable environmental factors. I saw happy cultivators, quaint structures, par-dried peaches and tomatoes actually drying in the sun and happy cows feasting on heirloom tomatoes (cows like tomatoes, I guess).

Summer’s sweet batch of produce has been cheered and devoured for months, but we’re just getting into the thick of it, equating the perfect time to shop, eat and learn about the power of local produce.

A great opportunity for a daycation, beautiful drive and farm-visiting experience is coming up on Oct. 2 and 3, 2010 for the 23rd annual Hoes Down Harvest Festival at Full Belly Farm. There’ll be workshops, music and food. Farms aren’t just for agricultural buffs and gardening grandmas; food-savvy urbanites can benefit too.

Costume Ideas for Two

There’s only one thing as bad as getting religious literature on Halloween while Trick or Treating: a half-assed Halloween costume.

Taking into account these points, here are a few suggestions:

Snooki & The Situation

These two costumes from MTV’s Jersey Shore are super easy and possibly extremely entertaining, which is why half the people out and about will be dressed as one of these two. But the trick is all in the execution.

For Snooki, try picking a season or particular episode. Season One Snooki is a great version, and there are two ways to go with it. Grab a brightly colored trucker hat, a long black wig, some big/nearly clear bedazzled sunglasses, a tight T-shirt, some spandex workout capris and carry around one of those huge, individually wrapped pickles and you could be “Snooki at the Shore House.” With the exception of the pickle ($2) and the long black wig ($15—$25), you or your friends probably have everything else you might need to complete the look. You can walk around and say, “You guys, pickles is my thing,” in your best New York/Jersey accent.

The second Snook-look is “Snooki on the Prowl.” Slip into any tight-fitting and short stretchy dress in black or leopard print and take previously mentioned black wig and get your “poof” on. If you don’t already own a Bumpits (no judgment, honest) to get that big, mound of lift hair look, you can grab one at your local Target ($10). With this Snooki, you can spit out lines like, “My ideal man would be Italian, dark, muscles, juice-head guido.” And, “I’m not a guido, I’m a guidette.”

For both looks, a bad fake tan ($8 bottle), hideous fake nails ($5 press-ons), fake eyelashes ($4) and an upper lip so brown it looks dirty will ensure an accurate costume. Check out and memorize more quotes online at Jerseyshorequotes.com.

For “The Situation,” take any T-shirt with a design on it and buy some rhinestones ($3) and glue and get to bedazzling. Get creative or use one of the many acronyms reapeated by the cast. “GTL” is a good choice. Do the same to some dark jeans and put too much gel in your hair. Smile and talk out of the left side of your mouth about “grenades” and “zoo creatures.” Be sure to don sunglasses and lift up your shirt often to display your abs (or some drawn-on ones).

Sookie Stackhouse & Bill Compton

Oh True Blood! The characters of True Blood are so sexy, salacious and bloody good. The third season finale that aired Sept. 12 left viewers to “bite” their time until next summer to see what’s next for part-fairy, telepathic Sookie and 174-year-old Vampire Bill.

Bill is an easy and comfortable costume for dudes. Dark-colored jeans, shirt and jacket are easy enough to come by. Plastic fangs should be only a few bucks. Baby powder can help give your skin a lighter pale color and red lipstick can be used to create some “blood” around the mouth. The southern accent, mysteriously furrowed brow and gentlemanly demeanor will make this costume great–all are free.

Dressing as Sookie is a slightly different story. You can be waitress Sookie, serving True Blood at Merlotte’s. A white T-shirt (short or long-sleeved), black bottoms and green apron is all you need to wear. For the “Merlotte’s” logo, buy some iron-on transfer paper ($6—$10), recreate the logo using the Bankoli font in bold on any basic design program. Use a friend’s color printer, if you don’t have one, and iron it on the top left. An apron can be made easily from dark green fabric from any fabric store and the assistance of iron-on hem tape ($2). Finish the look off with a blond ponytail, a tray and a bottle of True Blood. You can buy manufactured True Blood–a blood orange-flavored soda–from HBO.com, but it will cost you time and money. A four-pack will cost $30 with shipping and can take up to a week. Mixing it with vodka doesn’t make it taste better. Try putting red dye in a bottle of strawberry soda and taping a True Blood logo around it. Be sure to paint the center of your front teeth black to simulate the gap in her teeth (black eyeliner works well, liquid is the best) and smile extra big to show it off, like when Sookie gets nervous. Bloody good show.

Katy Perry & Elmo

After her “scandalous” Sesame Street appearance in which she sang a kid-friendly version of her song “Hot N Cold” while playing tag with Elmo, Katy Perry has been the topic of comedic conversation lately. Having some huge honkers and chasing a furry puppet around could be considered lewd or extremely funny. Even Saturday Night Live picked up on it and featured a skit in which Katy Perry is squeezed into an Elmo T-shirt, her cups runnethed over, in a parody of the public’s sensitivity to children viewing the “tops of boobs.”

Ladies, you’ll need a light green outfit that is fairly bare on top. A tube-top or spaghetti strap shirt or dress should work. A short dark wig, three big fake white and pink flowers, and a piece of white lace netting acting as a mantilla-like veil will be necessary accessories. Bright pink lips, big fake eyelashes and pearl-like earrings are a must. You can fake-jog, sing and play tag with your dude dressed as Elmo.

An Elmo costume could be difficult, but here are a few suggestions to make it easier. Gentlemen, wear all red, paint your face and hands red and color your hair red with hair color spray ($6), paint your nose orange. Not down for the paint? Find an image of Elmo’s face online, print it out, glue it to a piece of cardboard, cut holes for eyes and adhere to a something to hold it up to your face. Speak in the third-person as Elmo and play tag with your Katy. You can make this funny by really getting into character.

This costume can easily work for ladies with dogs that can’t be left at home. Wrap your pooch in some fuzzy red felt for a puppy Elmo.

Or go alone (it’s good to have options) as SNL Katy Perry; in an Elmo T-shirt cut down the middle, plaid skirt, clear black-framed glasses and pigtails.

Hope these ideas help solve some costume conundrums and get some hearty, alcohol-induced chuckles. Boo-yeah!

Standup comedian and general pop culture humorist, Natasha Leggero

Although convincing in her roles portraying strippers, sozzled skanks and “housewives” on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Reno 911, Natasha Leggero is no high-class hooker. She is a comedian.

Leggero spoke with Submerge about doing standup, Snooki and why it’s so natural for her to act obliterated.

How long have you been doing standup?
Nine years.

Do you remember the particular club or city where you started your standup career?
I was in Los Angeles at the Comedy Store in the Belly Room, which is a room that was actually designed in the ‘70s for women comedians, and it’s just a great, easy room for comedy. It’s a great place to start out. I think they call it the Belly Room because it’s kind of like a womb. There are no distractions. It’s this small, dark room with low ceilings and no bar in the back. It’s a really kind room for comedy.

No big mistakes that first time?
I’m still trying to get a set as good as the first time I was onstage. It was a great set, and then I was so shocked that everyone was laughing. Yeah, it was just this amazing experience. The laughter just felt like waves coming over me. But now that I think about that story, I remember someone had given me a Xanax, and I had had some wine, so it might have been the drugs doing that.

You’ve portrayed quite a few characters. Which is your favorite character that you’ve acted out at this point?
Anything I do with the people from Reno 911 is my favorite, because they’re all just such amazing improvisers that somehow they make you funnier by just being so generous and funny themselves. They really know how to set you up for the jokes.

I worked with Tom Lennon and Ben Garant from Reno 911. I did Reno four times and I did their movie. I just did a pilot for them for NBC, which didn’t get picked up. Now we’re doing one for FX, which is a white trash, futuristic version of Reno 911; it’s set in space. It’s called Alabama, and I’m going to be playing a sex robot. I’m a sex robot in the future, who’s on the spaceship and everybody is tired of fucking.

So you become a defunct sex robot.
Exactly. I think at one point they order me a new vagina. But it’s all improv.

You’re pretty obviously obliterated in that role on Reno 911. Was it very difficult to act very trashed?
It was sort of an impediment when I was in acting school. We’d be doing Chekov and they’d say, “Stop moving around so much, you seem like you’re drunk.”

And it’s just a physicality that I just naturally do, that, um, seems like I’m drunk. Especially when I’m onstage. I’ve always liked to fall. I always have been good at it. I would always pretend to fall for my friends. I mastered that art of pratfalls, and I’d always have comedy bruises all over myself. It’s something I always knew how to do and it goes well with being wasted.

You are a consistent guest on Chelsea Lately. How many times have you been on that show?
I think I lost count at 70… Last time I did it, Snooki was there, whom you may know from her work on the Jersey Shore. I had my dog with me, who’s a little Chihuahua, and we were backstage. I have a little “service dog” vest for it so I can take it into restaurants, and Snooki was like, “Can I see yoor dwaag?” So I said sure and showed her my dog. She was like, “Why ya got this vest?” I was like, “I have epilepsy,” as a joke, and she said, “What’s epilepsy?” I thought that was pretty phenomenal that word has escaped her, her whole life.

What are your thoughts on reality TV?
I just don’t understand why we’re calling them “stars” when it’s the first thing they’ve ever done… In general it’s pretty silly, but it’s definitely there for us to make fun of, I feel like. It’s a good time to be a comedian.

You joke about not wanting kids, but there’s a picture of you and a baby on your Twitter page.
I can’t believe my friend let me breastfeed her baby! Actually, she let me put a pacifier in the baby’s mouth, and then I pressed it up against my boob. So, that’s not my child. I should re-do that picture with my dog.

When doing jokes about hip-hop songs, you actually sing, and your voice sounds really good. Do you have any plans on adding “singer” to your entertainment resume?
I would love to sing more. My voice is not that trained. I definitely think I could do a lounge act.

If you did put out an album, what kind of music do you think you would do?
I would probably lay on a piano and belt out some old standards. Or maybe write some new standards about toilet babies.

Do you have any favorite type of audience?
I like people who are a little savvier, hip, stylish. They get where I’m going with everything. They are not afraid to laugh at things that can be slightly mean.

Have you had any run-ins of the obsessed fan sort?
This one guy brought a picture of me on Chelsea… and he took the screen shot right when I was in the middle of crossing my legs and you could see the smallest bit of my underwear and he wanted me to sign it.

What did you say to him?
I said, “That’s disgusting,” and then I signed it.

KSSU: Back Alley Radio

White, floor-to-nearly-ceiling CD-formatted shelves wrap around the half of the 15-foot long by 6-foot wide studio not filled with soundboards and wires. Little more decoration is needed than the hundreds of multi-colored cases.

Among the “Electronica” and “Alt/Indie” with “Local” and various genres in between, pictures of antennae-d robot mascot “Sparky” hang high on the wall, watching over volunteer DJs, talkers and broadcasters.

Located in the alley between University Union and Santa Clara Hall, Sacramento State’s student-run radio station, KSSU, was streaming live the first week of the fall semester.

With the hope of “forging the way for E-music,” KSSU has been recognized for their programming.

In 2009, the mtvU College Radio Woodie Awards ranked KSSU in the Top 10 of U.S. and Canadian college radio stations. Earning “Station of the Year” and “Best Student-Run Station” from College Music Journal were two of the five big wins in 2009, with 12 nominations in total.

Broadcasting at 1580 AM on the dial and Kssu.com online, KSSU provides local and international listeners with college radio year-round. KSSU accepts and trains volunteers fall, spring and summer. Some KSSU alumni are allowed to return, but most volunteers at KSSU are students.

“KSSU is reserved to be the voice of the students,” said Susie Kuo, station advisor and former longtime KSSU volunteer.

After a rigorous broadcasting training boot camp, volunteers complete at least 15 hours of service a semester by hosting a live show, working at on-campus events, contributing to KSSU’s “blogazine” or screening submitted music to adhere to FCC regulations.

Film production junior Tyler Wyckoff, aka “Cadaver the Rapper,” didn’t slip while rapping live on his first broadcast of The Cap City Collective, incurring no potential fee from the FCC.

As it was his first show, and first live KSSU flow, backup was in-studio. Directing sound level changes and offering tech support, Kuo and station manager/history senior/ resident metal head Brian Bautista sat in the adjoining office to Wyckoff with a window view into the studio.

While Wyckoff played his song lineup, Kuo and Bautista attempted to clear up the station’s wavering history, admittedly convoluted with muddled-at-best documentation, Bautista said.

Beginning as KEDG in 1989, the Associated Broadcasting Club was the jump-off point for Sacramento State’s student-run radio. The following years shaped the student club into a ratified student radio station.

The process of establishing a college radio station at Sacramento State was nebulous, much like the process through which first-time parents rear a child. With such tricky changes, setbacks and encounters of the administrative kind, turning a club into a legitimately ratified radio station took cultivation. Co-founders Jim Bolt and Chris Prosio–both Sacramento State 1991 graduates–consider KSSU their baby, as stated in a letter to KSSU DJs and staff in May 2009, provided by Kuo.

They wrote how two years of sorting things out with administration and setting actions in motion to establish and cement a student-run radio station “certainly felt like a birthing process.”

The student-run station officially became known as KSSU at 89.7 FM in 1991. And Prosio and Bolt’s baby was born.

Frequency changes took place, as did management and semester volunteers.

“Since 1979, the various FM frequencies belonging to Sacramento State were consistently allocated to news and jazz programming by NPR on Capital Public Radio, instead of being the voice of the students,” Kuo said.

Since space on FM is very limited and Sacramento State already owned two frequencies received after applying with the FCC, KSSU found a home at 530 AM in 1991 before transitioning to 1580.

With a past of receiving coveted FM frequencies, there must have been times when feelings weren’t friendly. But KSSU and Capital Public Radio have been bridging the gap for years and are now broadcasting buddies. “I think they like how cute we are,” Kuo admitted.

The “Capital” has just recently made bigger moves in streaming live on the Internet, but the “cute” has been sending e-waves out in the world for some time.

The current KSSU AM frequency is essentially null and void, powered by 3 watts (or 3000 miliwatts, which Bautista said he thought sounded more robust), functioning off of Sacramento State’s carrier current. An electric toothbrush charger requires 10 watts and that laptop used to listen to your MP3s requires 50. No wonder the frequency can’t even be picked up at many locations on campus, or even near the alley-hidden studio.

To be heard, the station had to reach listeners. In 2004, volunteer Melissa Maxwell initiated the process of putting KSSU online, so students could listen to music and miscellaneous streaming online from a computer. Kssu.com went live in 2005.

After very resourcefully sending KSSU into the digital age, Melissa Maxwell went on to work for Entercom with local commercial radio The Eagle, 98 Rock and KWOD (RIP) and is currently doing technical operations and promotions at 94.7 FM.

Maxwell is one of quite a few past KSSU volunteers to successfully capitalize on what they learned doing college radio. Some should-know names in the local spinning scene include DJ Rob Fatal, DJ Mike Colossal, DJ Rated R, Elliot Estes (who currently DJs at The Park), and DJ 671. During the late ‘90s, Marie VanAssendelft was a volunteer at KSSU and went on to work for McGathy Promotions, doing marketing and publicity for Elmo.

Since on-air streaming was jimmy-rigged for KSSU in 2005, tracking the number of listeners is impossible. Therefore, listenership is estimated by public interaction with KSSU through social networking followers, friends and posters, and listener calls. Although inaccurate for statistics, monitoring public involvement is a good way to see which shows listeners are paying attention to and tuning (or streaming) in to.

Sac State Sunset’s prime time slot from 8 to 10 p.m. on Thursdays was earned as reflection of the hip-hop and reggaeton-spinning show’s popularity.

Five years ago, DJ Vince Vicari aka “Dub V” aka “El Doble Frijole” (“V” is a difficult letter to pronounce in some languages, like Spanish, Vicari said) began his DJ-ship at KSSU with an a.m. show called Sac State Sunrise. With co-host Britney Rossman, aka “B-Unit,” the show caught listeners’ attentions and was re-situated on Thursday nights.

On hiatus during the summer, Vicari and Rossman reunited on-air Thursday, Sept. 2 to commence the last semester of their KSSU radio show.

Re-acclimating himself with the in-studio multi-tasking of interacting, storytelling, social networking, PSA-ing, logging, playing music and hopping out to the waiting area to jam down food, Vicari said it was a lot to do but has become second nature.

“It’s almost like we’ve been doing it our whole lives,” he said to Rossman on-air about their first show of the semester. “But we’ve been gone for a while.”

While discussing summer experiences, plans for the future and answering listener calls with “You’re on air, watch your mouth. Who is this?” the fire alarm went off. Bautista said, “Your show is too hot!” while Vicari reminded listeners as he has before: the show will continue until he graduates or the studio burns down. Luckily for listeners, it was a false alarm.

KSSU is one of only a few organizations under the Associated Students Inc. that generates revenue. Even so, their resources are limited, sometimes causing technical difficulties.

Although broadcasting on an insignificant frequency and with some “older” equipment and accoutrements, KSSU seems to make good use of what it has available.

“We’re known for being really scrappy,” Kuo and Bautista explained. “We do some MacGyver Stuff.”

Seems like they earned that “2009 Best Use of Limited Resources” award by CMJ, a Billboard for college radio.

With its 20th birthday approaching on May 14, 2011, KSSU has been pooling resources to spiff-ify its image and broaden its reach.

KSSU understandably markets itself as an online radio station, but it seems to like holding on to the past and look toward the future.

Looking to have an audible presence on the dial, KSSU is partnering with outstanding local radio station KYDS 91.5 from El Camino High School. Soft-rolling Oct. 1, KSSU will fill space and send waves of music daily from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. Due to “immense technical issues,” KSSU programming on 91.5 will be pre-recorded content, although Bautista said they would love to go live.

In true studious collegiate fashion, KSSU has been planning to celebrate their 20th birthday the entire year before the real celebration begins.

This next academic year should see a solid lineup of events and programming, as well as improved streaming and a Kssu.com website revamp.

It’s all a warm up for the big shebang; A blast that will only get the e-waves crashing, rocking the streaming radio boat.

Busdriver

Friday, June 11, 2010
United State Boutique, Sacramento, CA

Busdriver introduced himself to his Sacramento faithful by stating his name and the fact that he “makes hip-hop the wrong way.” Immediately I began to wonder who this slight jab was directed toward, considering the door charge was $13, and he filled out the boutique rather well.

It depends on where you are raised on hip-hop, I guess. A graduate of South Central Los Angeles’ Project Blowed community, Busdriver is expected to be technically flawless and remarkable in his weirdness. Had he lacked these qualities, the faithful in that district would have politely asked him to “pass the mic” long ago. But eight albums deep (two of which were released on Epitaph) and touring schedules to foreign lands make it difficult to determine how he is incorrectly making hip-hop.

I will admit, I own zero Busdriver records and have often expressed befuddlement in the allure of his music–fast rap never did it for me. I learned about Busdriver the live performer years ago, though. It was an experience that altered my perception of his work. For the right price, I will attend a Busdriver show, as should any hip-hop connoisseur.

Aspiring rappers, aka the opening acts, take note of the level of expertise you must wield in order to rock a crowd bigger than your closest Facebook friends. Busdriver is easily one of the most compelling performers in the business, which is heightened by his lack of a posse or DJ. If Busdriver is on the bill, Busdriver is all you’ll see. One man with lungs like hot air balloons, bursting rhythmic tangents of tossed word salad–and somehow, his fans find enough connection to sing along. Sweet mercy, I saw people singing along, while local fledgling talent Chuuwee was in ear shot of me, wide-eyed and excited, telling his crew “I don’t know what he’s saying, but it’s hella fast.” Take notice, young pup.

I am comfortable with never comprehending the crossword puzzle of darts spewing forth from Busdriver’s mouth. His machine-gun delivery is the most impressive display of MCing I’ve seen in person. Sampling Mozart’s Sonata in A Major, “Me-Time… (With the Pulmonary Palimpsest)” was delivered with hairpin precision. Even if Busdriver faltered slightly, he casually filled the space with off-the-dome rhymes, until he regained his cue. I’ve witnessed some impressive Chicago MCs flex that ‘90s “do or die” style, rolling the Rs and bouncing to a “pibbitty-pibbitty” flow, but there’s a practiced routine employed. The chopping up of styles is a Project Blowed staple dating back before Freestyle Fellowship, but Busdriver is a master, while others are mere apprentices.

Most hip-hop heads, myself included, are still not ready for Busdriver. Although, judging by the audience–keying in on the all-ages element–traditional hip-hop heads were the minority that night. It would seem Busdriver is embraced by the young and the obnoxiously hip. Hip-hop is still in denial of its nerdier side–as if DJs weren’t the most reclusive oddballs ever–making Busdriver the talisman of art rap. Until being uncool replaces an undying obsession with being the most gangster, Busdriver will be sarcastically criticizing his art with jokes about “doing it wrong.” Although, those willing to open their minds to the complexities of his style shall be exposed to a format cursed to be called “ahead of its time” in the ensuing decades.

Golden Bear
2326 K Street, Sacramento

K Street seems like the place to be these spring days in Sacramento. Many shops, ventures, bike routes and bars are found from downtown to the Business 80 on-ramps.

However, most pertinently for our foodie purposes, a plethora of places to eat can be found on this path. As the season has coyly exhibited its sunny splendor, one eatery has emerged from a sort-of hibernation with a patron-pleasing epicurean sensibility.

Although the Golden Bear didn’t completely stop selling pints of beer, it reopened in the middle of March with renovations done to its tail end. Owners Jon Modrow and Kimio Bazett kindly took time to chat with Submerge to give us the skinny. The location’s previous owners built an illegal patio addition to this 1840s structure, which ultimately came to be a fire-code violation and renovations were required, Bazett said.

For a bar with an obvious sense of California pride, Bazett and Modrow had a group of UC Davis design students and friends create branding and interior aesthetic. In complete concurrence, the owners jumped on board with the contemporary furniture and bright, inviting color splashes.

They wanted to keep design cohesive throughout their bar, using a “monster money budget” to remodel the indoor back patio.

Cool, custom upholstered booth-ettes are paired with sheen-y tables and accented by hanging cylindrical lights–the likes of the oil lamp’s electric brother. Removable skylights and high-powered fans to suck cigarette smoke out of the patio make the patio an indoor/outdoor hybrid.

The Golden Bear entrepreneurs seem to have no intention of letting any half-assing happen when it comes to food, and brought on a new chef to be the ultimate addition to the “top to bottom” renovations recently revealed.

From L-R: Owners Jon Modrow and Kimio Bazett with Chef Billy Zoellin

A few weeks fresh off a year cooking for the Highcroft Patrón Racing Team, passionate young Billy Zoellin is the new executive chef accomplishing clever culinary feats with his “punk food” and gastro-pub fare, something they all agree “seems to be what Sacramento is missing.”

The Golden Bear has one of the only chefs who shops personally at farmers markets. This act of taking that food and “making it your own” is what Chef Billy considers “punk food.”

Everything is prepared in-house, using local products (within a 100-mile radius) and consciously attempting to keep the bar’s carbon footprint as small as possible, Chef Billy said.

Having a clearer conscience about serving customers, patrons and friends healthier food is a bright point for Bazett, he said.

The kitchen serves filling American lunch classics like burgers (Juicy Lucy Burger), chicken sandwiches, meatball sandwiches, cheese appetizers and a form of fries; however, many options are light, bright, fresh and healthy.

For lunch, complex-yet-uncomplicated salads and vegetables are available. For brunch (Saturday and Sunday 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.), seasonal menus feature veggies, frittatas, a colorful Ahi bagelwich and ripe, sweet fruit.

Being a good little eater, I went with my gastro-instinct, trying the fried cheese curd small plate ($5), Bledsoe pork meatball sandwich ($9.50) and a few “smashed fries.”

Pan-seared and served with a romesco aoli, the melty drops of cheese had just the right amount of cheese crust crunch and creaminess. How can you not love cheese?

I’ve come to truly appreciate pork (thanks to the beau), and the pork flavor of the meatballs in the sandwich successfully tasted true. Seasonings, along with an understated “red sauce” clearly made from fresh tomatoes, accentuated the eight mini ping-pong ball-sized meatballs. Lightly pickled shallots offered a not-too-tangy, nor too-salty, vinegar tinge and complemented the meaty sandwich, topped with slightly pungent provolone cheese. Spongey Bella Bru streak roll worked nicely as an encapsulating bread bed, holding and absorbing sauce and flavors.

A choice of smashed fries or salad accompanies sandwiches. For a buck more, eaters can opt for the red leaf Caesar salad. It’s a rouge version of a Caesar, paying ode to such Tijuana origins by featuring Lola Rosa lettuce, crisp capers, Cotija cheese, toasted pepitas, croutons and a smokey achiote Caesar dressing. Pleasing in flavor and just the right amount of dulled lettuce crunch.

Investigating these “smashed” fries, I found that if a fingerling potato wanted to be like a popcorn kernel, it could. Only the smallest fingerlings are par-boiled then bashed a bit, then fried (the only deep-fried menu item) in soybean oil and lightly spicy seasoned. A house-made ketchup in deep maroon made from ground New Mexico chilies, must-have-been-roasted tomatoes and nice amounts of pepper hold the fries hand while doing the flavor dance in your mouth. So happy they are.

As for dessert? The dudes who call the shots maintain a great relationship with their neighbor, The Dessert Diner, located next door. After asking about the possibility of a donut, Chef Billy said if it ever happened, bacon would be integral.

Local, fresh, well intentioned, “punk” and with a sense of humor, Chef Billy has pizzazz. And his cuisine is so sexy in a realistic way, like the posh “girl next door” of food.

I’m so excited about the playfully salacious future creation of a palate-cleansing house-made gummy bear that the Golden Bear Chef Billy hinted at. I won’t apologize for finding the concept to be rather casually provocative.

I know that burgers have been talked about and talked about in our town; however, I look forward to trying the Lucy burger: Sacramento’s introspective version of the cheese skirt burger, with fontina cheese hidden on the Inside of the Niman Ranch Angus beef patty.

Golden Bear has emerged like a well-intentioned youth does from college–looking the same on the outside, but with internal improvements. With future plans for a front-of-house facelift, The Golden Bear will become an even spiffier looking bar. Featuring a pint of beer and a shot of Jameson as the proclaimed house drink, pours parallel those of everyone’s favorite dive bar, but with the panache of an ultra lounge. Like an ultra high-dive neighborhood lounge where everyone is a VIP, dress code is as you like (with respect) and there’s no cover.

It’s not likely that the Golden Bear will lose its reputation for being a solid spot to sip a drink, but its reputation for offering scrumptious gastro-pub eats will certainly come to precede itself.

Newfangled Fooderies

With over a year of food serving experience tucked nicely into the check presenter in the middle pocket of my black apron, I’ve learned things about the commercialized consumption business.

The most enduring information is that weekends equal workworkwork for those employed at eateries. When “normal” working folk are enjoying their weekends of brunching, lunching and dining, I’m waitressing away.

Ultimately, my wait staff workmates and I miss out on all things weekend (and most things holiday).

So when the Petit Pedlar opened at 3011 Franklin Boulevard Feb. 27, I was stoked for a new charcuterie/patisserie to visit morning or noon. But upon further exploration down Franklin last Tuesday, the small wood-framed windowfront of Petit Pedlar was unpeopled. I came to learn that its visitation hours were as limited as the “pen.”

Learning that early afternoon that my yearning for the possibility for a pain au raisin (a flaky, swirled French pastry with macerated raisins and pastry cream)—which I’ve yet to find in Sacramento—would just have to wait, I was disappointed.

When that gorgeous Saturday or Sunday morning when I’m free between 9:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. happens, I will do what is important for you, Submergists.

In the words of Submerge co-creator Jonathan Carabba: “You eat. And you write,” he said. “You drink. And you write. That’s all that matters.”

I’ll be sizing up the Frenchie-ness of this petite place soon. Perhaps it’ll have to wait for the patio expansion of dining space slated for April 15, according to owner Tod Bullen, at which time hours will expand and possibly carry over to the weekdays. You’ll certainly want to check back.
In other rising food news: New fooderies to come to Sacramento!

Being fairly impressed with House Kitchen & Bar (555 Capital Mall) on my lunch visit in January, I had expectations for a marvelous breakfast. A hearty, home-style and sophisticated breakfast is to be expected on the table of this house—when they start serving it. A killer biscuits and country gravy dish with a delicate twist MUST be on the menu. Although late February was the food forecast for breakfast available at House Kitchen & Bar, acquiring a liquor license has held up weekend brunching. But they expect to start serving breakfast in early April.

Speaking of home-style food, Sacramento culinary culture seems to be taking a downswing. To accommodate the economy, many restaurants are offering larger portions of food, more filling food and at lower prices to help diners feel like their money is well-spent. The days of expensive, individually created and crafted delicate elfin eats are over.

Restaurateur Mason Wong is smartly seeing the trend and will be done transforming the haute restaurant Mason’s into the more approachable Cafeteria 15L (on the corner of 15 and L streets) in April.

Offering lunch to late-night eats and questioning, “What is better than chocolate milk and square pizza?” Cafeteria 15L will feature more casual “American comfort cuisine.”

The Cafeteria 15L grand opening will double as a charity event April 6, benefiting the Hope Productions Foundation, which provides resources for children and youth. Tickets are $45 to $55 and more info on the event is available at www.cafeteria15l.com.

I first had Pinkberry frozen yogurt in March 2008 in New York City. It was winter and my green tea yogurt with blueberries and kiwi, topped with a dusting of matcha powder, was purely wondrous. Having never seen the swirls-y treat store in Northern California, it seemed to be an East Coast company. But alas, Pinkberry is a Los Angeles convention, one that will share original, green tea and seasonal flavor mango fro-yo with Sacramento soon.

The first of six branches to open in the Sacramento metro area opens at the Howe ‘Bout Arden Shopping Center April 9. Nordstrom’s Rack and Pinkberry in one complex will be a treat, indeed. Discount designer dresses and mango Pinkberry—what an excellent way to welcome spring.
There’s tons to look forward to, culinarily speaking. And having a weekend off to enjoy it would be ideal. But fro-yo is available often and Pinkberry is a more than acceptable substitute.

In the words of Notorious B.I.G. (who clearly was a newfangled food fan), “If you don’t know, now you know…”

Why are you Magical?

Comedian Mitch Fatel is adorably awkward and relishes in making people laugh by sharing his degenerate thoughts on dating. Pervy perceptions of female undergarments and anatomy have been comically conveyed through this stand-up dude on Comedy Central specials and made available on his CDs Super Retardo and Miniskirts and Muffins.

In 2009, Fatel finished 10th in Comedy Central’s Stand-Up Showdown (just after Dane Cook!) and also released his first DVD, Mitch Fatel is Magical, last fall. Now, in 2010, Mitch is visiting comedy clubs to offer fans his “magical” show.

Mr. Mitch chatted with Submerge about the origin of his authentic comedic character, the performer’s drug, signing vaginas and visiting Sacramento’s The Punch Line Feb. 25-28, 2010.

You so perfectly ponder the common queries of young people. Is Mitch Fatel making a killing from carefully orchestrated character development? Or, is this just who you are and it just works out as a happy accident that you have an inclination toward such carnal comedy?
I never sat back and wrote a character. It’s not as crafted. How do I explain who I am on stage? If you look at comedy or performing as a drug, I think that who you are on stage is the purest form of who you are in the world, boiled down to its most pristine state. I believe that that is who you are, so when people say, “Is that a character on stage?” I actually say the character is more who I am off stage. The person that I am on stage is the purest form of me. But nobody can be who they are on stage all of the time. When I went on stage, “he” was there and I just let him come out.

You feel most comfortable when you’re on stage?
I actually don’t feel comfortable at all in my life, unless I’m on stage. I’m usually very uncomfortable”¦ I love being up there and it’s my alternate home and the home that I choose to feel safest in. Which is much like a Twilight Zone episode. I really always do wonder who I’d be without the stage. I don’t know who I would be. It’s weird.

You compared the stage to a drug. Your jokes seem largely compared to ones that would be shared in a drinking situation. Are these experiences that you joke about real personal experiences?
Everything in my act is based on something that happened. That’s not to say that it’s exactly true to form. But they’re things that I’ve seen. Everything in my act has someone, had something that led me to thinking that.

When you want to ‘talk like a drug,’ I feel like whenever I’m in a relationship for an extended period of time, I start having less experiences to talk about and ultimately when I’m lonely and miserable and not in a relationship, that’s when I write the best stuff, because then I’m definitely having more experiences on the road, I’m definitely meeting more girls. Relationships tend to put you in a happy place that I don’t think performers usually belong. Happiness in some instances—ironically—is a killer.

Strange how that works—you have to suffer through your art.
It’s worth it. At least, I don’t mind doing it. I mean, it makes me so happy. I’ve been in relationships and I’ve been happy, but quite honestly I’ve never felt that it was as satisfying as being in this business.

I’m curious about the title of your new DVD and the show that aired on Comedy Central on Sept. 18, 2009 Mitch Fatel is Magical. Mitch, Why are you magical?
It’s based on a joke in my act, a true story about a girl at one of my shows that came up to me and said, “I want you to take my virginity. I’m a virgin.” I was shocked and I said, “Why would you want me to take your virginity? Why me?” she said, “Because I think with you it would be magical.” So later that night I wore a wizard’s cap.

You have a show at the end of this month at The Punch Line. You have new material that you’re working with this year?
I have 35 minutes of new material now.

What’s going to be different about this year’s Sacramento show besides the new material? Will you be signing boobies and kissing babies this year?
I will always sign boobies and butts. And actually I signed my first vagina in Ontario, Calif. So, if anyone in Sacramento wants to beat that, they’re more than welcome to.

My act has become really, really pleasant, and I’m so happy with it. Mix of probably about 25 to 30 minutes of classic material and 30 to 35 minutes of new material mixed in”¦ It’s very pleasurable to watch fans come up, and be like, “Oh my God, we thought we knew that joke and you’ve got that new tag there.” It’s one of the beauties of comedy. An old joke will come out and fit itself into a new joke, and I’ll put it in there and it’s a little shout out to the old fans that know it and the new fans who have no idea what they’re getting. I always like to mix and match.

But no matter what, I’m always making people unhappy. People will say, “How come you don’t do bra and panties?” “How come you don’t do the muffin joke?” “How come you don’t do the magical joke?” Unlike a performer who’s singing a song, comedy has to stay very fresh. You constantly have to add. For my own sanity, I need to go up on stage and have new fun stuff to do. I’m working on a new bit that I’m premiering this week and I hope it makes it to Sacramento.

Is there anything you remember about your performance here in Sacramento at The Punch Line last year?
[Laughs] Yeah! I remember that there was a crazy girl. A crazy girl that came back to the hotel room and kept trying to knock on the door to get in.

Is there anything you’re looking forward to in your Sacramento stop this year?
That girl not knocking on my door.

I’ve got to be honest, and I don’t want to bullshit anybody and say that I like one market more than the other. I will say that the West Coast, San Francisco, Sacramento, Los Angeles areas, are my towns. I have a lot more fun in one of those towns than one where I don’t feel a connection to the people.

What is the question that you hate being asked?
Let me think which one I hear a lot by interviewers”¦ “Are we gonna see you in a TV show?” Because in my mind I’m like, “Well, yeah! If I get a TV show.” My stock line, which is true, is: If it comes, it comes. If not, I’m happy. I love it, telling jokes for a living. TV would be secondary. I never got into this to be a TV star. I got into this to be a comedian. It’s what I love doing. I just want to make more and more people laugh.

You’ve released two CDs and a DVD and they’re in digital form on iTunes. You post videos and fan phone calls on your Web site. You’re pretty tech savvy. As far as technology and comedy are concerned, what’s the next step? Is there going to be a Mitch Fatel iPhone app? Fatel Mobile?
That’s funny that you say that because someone did approach me with doing a Mitch Fatel iPhone app. I told them to work on it. So, sure, they’ll work on it.

I’m not as technically savvy as you think. I have a team that takes care a lot of that stuff. I design stuff and come up with ideas to help them with it. But I’ve always believed a comic should do what he does best, which is writing new material, and should have a team around me to put that stuff together. All I have to do is give them content. I put the creativity and the fun into it.

Mitch Fatel is Magical is set to re-premier on Showtime in June, 2010, in its unedited, beep-free entirety. In the meantime, stop by The Punch Line Feb. 25-28 to see the magic in person.